Do you ever wonder why we dream the things we do? I mean the really, REALLY strange stuff that comes across in our sleep, in our dreams?
I don't know about other people and their dreams but sometimes, the content of my dreams really confuses the living daylights out of me. It's like, where on earth did that come from? And why?
For a long time -over a period of several years actually -my dreams seemed to all be about my being back at the one truckstop where I used to waitress and inevitably, they all pertained to me waiting on a bunch of truck drivers back in the area we referred to as the Truckers' Room, and also inevitable was that I would end up trying to run all over the room to keep up with the demands of these guys and they would be yelling at me to "Hurry it up, will ya?" To their not-so-nicely put requests and feeling really stressed out to the max in these dreams, I would respond to them that I was moving as fast as I could go!
Those dreams, for me, weren't just little dreams but nightmares because back when I was a waitress there, I always tried to keep a close eye on my customers and their wants/needs, etc., and the regular drivers knew that too. To have a group of angry customers virtually screaming at me in my sleep to "Move it! Move it!" and them not realizing how fast I was trying to go -well it was something that really scared me to have dreams about that place and that happening to me.
I suppose part of those dreams came from the fact that my legs no longer cooperate and allow me to move near as quickly as I used to be able to do and that, along with the fear of ever having to go back to doing that kind of work again must have been playing in my subconscious some where.
Thankfully, I haven't had that particular type of dream for a long, long time now.
However, in the past two weeks now I have had some really odd dreams though and my ex-husband has been the main player in them.
Now that is really odd because we've been divorced for almost 31 years now and this is the first that he has ever popped up in any of my dreams.
Last night, the dream was sooooo strange and had so many weird things in it, I have no clue where any of these visuals could possibly have originated, especially with my ex-husband playing a lead role.
This one was strange, funny and also, really scary to me and when I woke up from it, I was on the verge of tears.
In it, there was my ex-husband, my son, my ex-brother-in-law and some other guy who I didn't recognize, didn't know the face or his name -but all males in the cast anyway.
My ex and my son were both dressed in these one-piece spandex outfits -you know, the kind that high school and college wrestlers wear -wrestling singlets is what they are called - and they had a big tractor-trailer parked alongside my house (a lo-boy -the kind of trailer that is often used to haul heavy equipment type stuff) and they were loading this stuff that supposedly was in my back yard onto this trailer and when they started to pull away, my son waved goodbye to me, calling out that he was going away to live with his Dad.
Now, if that wasn't just the weirdest combination ever though! My ex has never driven any kind of big rigs, although my son does that for a living but he has never driven anything hauling heavy equipment or cars -other than just towing some of his junkers he's owned over the years to the junk yard. Why my ex-brother-in-law was with them is anyone's guess but I'm thinking he might have been on my mind as a friend of mine was just inquiring about him a couple days ago.
And the outfits -those wrestling uniform type things -well, that was just the weirdest thing of all because neither my ex or my son EVER has had occasion to wear anything like that and if you'd see either of them, you'd definitely understand why too! Both of them are very slim, especially my son, who is also quite tall too! Certainly outfits like that are not made for either of them to show off their lovely physiques!
But why did it have me ready to cry?
Because my ex was laughing at me when my son was telling me he was leaving and going to live with or near his Dad and he was taunting me about that.
Maybe because way back when my son was 12 years old, the kids Dad had tried to convince the boy to come and live with him and perhaps what once was a strong inner fear then had come forward again to kind of haunt me.
That still doesn't explain why in blazes they were clad in those outfits though and that, at least, provided a bit of humor for me when I was trying to explain the dream to Mandy this morning.
Maybe wrestling stuff has been in the back of my mind of late because Penn State's wrestlers won some kind of championship this year. I can't tell you what the title is that they won because I don't pay that much attention to that sport but I do know there's been a lot in the sports news lately about this so I guess that must have filtered through to the inner depths of my brain some how.
But I'm not going to try to analyze these things any more than I already have and I'm gonna put them out of my mind too as nothing but the strange inner workings of my mind I guess.