Friday, December 01, 2006

WARNING: To People in the Midwest and Canada

This is a warning, only a warning right now, but if things develop further, serious actions will have to be taken!

Do not, I repeat, DO NOT send any of the white, fluffy crap, or affiliated by-products (freezing rain, very cold temperatures) to the East!

I am in Pennsylvania now and first off, can not afford to move to escape presents of that nature. Which, by the way, I do not, repeat this too, DO NOT regard these things as "presents" either. Unless you are operating a voodoo doll, sticking a pin into a map of Pennsylvania maybe, after having of course, probably frozen that pin at temperatures many, many degrees below the freezing point too!

I do not like snow, do not like freezing rain or sleet either! I am not overly fond of rain, especially not the really raw, cold kind of weather that seems to come with that substance at this time of the year, so - again - I am warning you, DO NOT SEND THAT CRAP THIS WAY!

Keep it all to yourselves for your own mirth and enjoyment! Besides, you people in the midwest have no mountains to deal with in order to get in and out of town - wherever it is you live! Ok, to you Canadians, you do have the Rockies, so I can understand your wanting to ship this stuff off to other parts, but please send it maybe to Texas. Better yet - send it to Mexico and let them see what life is like here after all when one must contend with bad things - like Cold, cold rains, freezing rain, sleet and snow!

One can only build so many snowmen or snow forts; make just so many snow angels too before the fun side of this junk leaves you very wet, very, very cold and runs up bills to oil companies too in the process!

I have not yet determined what the punishment will be if your actions continue, but it will be severe, harsh and very, very nasty!

Trust me there!

9 comments:

Mike said...

I don't have any here yet and I'm in Michigan. It did get colder here though. It's only 36 now compared to 60 or so yesterday. We're supposed to get a few inches of the white stuff here. I, on the other hand, like snow. I remember when my wife lived on the other side of the state (close to Lake Michigan) they would get tons of snow. As a matter of fact, the first year I drove over to see her, they got 57 inches of snow in December alone lol. You have a little while before it hits your area.

LL Rucker said...

I second those sentiments, Jeni. As a Florida gal, those in the midwest must realize that any temperature BELOW 70 is tantamount to freezing down here, and we have absolutely NO snow plows, salt for the roads or even warm coats readily available, so echoing Jenis' sentiments- Keep your cold, wet, white, misreable crap on your side of the Mississippi and the Mason-Dixon Line!

Bob Johnson said...

Hey now, we're just sending you our August weather, so we can make room for our December weather.
BTW, the coldest I have, personally experienced was January 1982 in Whitehorse, when I experienced -50 Celsius (pure mercury) with a wind that brought the wind chill to -100C.
This is a walk in the park

Jen said...

I don't want the nasty stuff either but I've got it anyway. The system that sent it to me is gone and I'm not responsible for where it goes.

Preferably to someone I really don't like, but, ya know, I have no control over the weather. :p

Theresa Chaze, Wiccan Writer said...

Dorothy asked for Michigan's snow to be sent to her. I'll try not to allow it to spill over--but you know oops sometime happen. In the last twelve house it's gone from bare ground to nearly not being able to see across the street. And it has to go some place else. Canada is good.

As for Florida, Texas and other warm climate. I'll be borrowing a few degrees of heat, cause I like being able to feel my feet and I can't right now.

theauthormike said...

Dear Jeni, Yes, it is supposed to get cold here too. I might have to break out my jeans and a light sweater. Did you just call me a bitch? LOL Mikey

Anonymous said...

Dear Jeni, Yes, it is supposed to get cold here also. I may have to pull out my jeans and a light sweater. Did you just call me a bitch? LOL Mikey

Skittles said...

Man.. I hope they listen to what you said. I like snow and all.. but only if I'm looking at from inside my warm apartment.

Queenie said...

Hey man!
You Americans are sending the cold to us Canadians!
I just want you to keep it...

Q