Saturday, July 17, 2010

It Could Happen!

Anyone here ever heard of the comedienne, Judi Tenuto? I haven't heard of her or seen her around now for a long, long time, but she was known for using the line, "It could happen. It could happen." frequently in her routines. Granted that tag line was used when she would voice some rather outlandish type events but nonetheless, this was a line that, from the first time I heard it, I liked it and kind of adopted using it too from time to time.

So far today, things haven't been too far out of line -rather they've been kind of floating along, leaning towards the norm -which sometimes the "norm" in this house isn't exactly the same "norm" as you might have or that some of my neighbors may experience, but for here, it our norm and you just learn to deal with things accordingly then.

Mandy is working today -from 11 a.m. till 5 or 6 p.m. -somewhere within that time range so I'm here dealing with Maya and Kurtis as best I can and within the context of that "norm" then for them, for me, for us.

My son stopped by today earlier -was here for almost three hours as a matter of fact. And that was nice. It was also good and I'd like to think fairly productive too -something that hasn't been existing with him for a while now as he's got a lot of upheaval going on in his life.

There's been a whole lot of "upheaval" shall we say within my family of late. A LOT!

When my kids come to me and talk to me about their concerns, they may not always like how I respond then to them though because I do try to see things from the sides of ALL who are concerned. It's that part -when I see things from the person they may be regarding as their adversary -that they don't usually like, don't always want to hear what I have to say then.

Why? Well because I truly do believe in any confrontational type of issue -especially when it is with/about someone with whom you have had a close relationship -it forces people to try to see the others' point of view and that usually is not what they really want to do then.

You see, I don't believe in retaliation. This notion so many people have of thinking that just because this or that person did this or said that and those actions caused some hurt feelings (maybe even a whole bucketload of those hurt feelings, for that matter) that the only way to operate then is to just simply get even!

And to that I say, "Just what does that gain you in the end, in the long run?"

And to answer my own question there, "Nothing!"

Absolutely nothing is gained through hurtful words, actions -even a nasty tone of voice.

The age old expression of getting more flies with honey than with vinegar really rings true.

If you don't want someone to throw mud in your eye, don't fling any at him or her! Simple logic there of playing and yes, fighting too, according to the Golden Rule.

Does that sound like a foreign concept? Sometimes, to some people, it does. But really, if you think long and hard before jumping the gun, drawing conclusions about situations, taking actions that ultimately are bordering too on being illegal -as well as slightly absurd and borderline insane -don't expect to have any thing happen other than more of the vicious cycle that has begun and will continue to spin out of control as long as these things keep being done by and to each other.

Right now -because it is the norm in this household for these two small children, when they try to play together - is that one of them, usually the younger, smaller one, will reach for a toy that inevitably is the one the older wants to have, or will for some unknown reason -or one totally out-of-line reason -simply decide to yell at the other or throw something or push the other around just for general principles.

And yes, I realize these are children I'm talking about here and also that they both have problems understanding good behavior, practicing good social skills, so they are a bit lost at times when I try -or their mother tries -to explain to them that what they are doing to each other is not in their own best interest because it lands them in time-out (trouble) and it hurts the other -their own sibling in the process too.

Now, when I try to explain that principle to them -mere children with social skills that are somewhat delayed - I realize too that is the very same principle I've been trying to get across to a couple of adults within the family circle too.

And you know what? If adults can't grasp that concept, then how can we expect small children, especially those who don't comprehend these things that well, to understand then the correct way to behave -under any circumstances.

There are times when I really think trying to explain all this "behavior" stuff (good actions vs. bad) that it's going to cause my nerves to go completely bonkers and cause me to run for the Xanax or for my face to erupt in all kinds of things so that I will be needing a huge supply of pronexin in order to show my face in public again!

Yes, there are times when trying to provide guidance to some, steering any of them, regardless of age or gender, in the right direction to do what is right and best for each one concerned that it does come really close to putting me at the very edge!

So far today though, things have managed to stay fairly well under control. Discussions with the older members of the family group have gone quite nicely and at the moment, I do have one child on the sofa in a ten-minute time-out and the other seated at the table, being as quiet as can be expected from a child of a particular young age to be and I am currently enjoying a tiny bit of solitude in what often of late has been a sea of turmoil.

And let's just say a short, silent prayer too that it all continues in this vein for oh, maybe at least an hour or two. More than that, wonderful as it would be, would also probably be pushing it!

But I do like to think "It could happen. It could happen!"


Maggie May said...

Very wise words.
My grandmother used to say, in her Lancashire accent, *There's nowt so queer as folk.* I think that is true.

Hope the rest of your day is peaceful!
Maggie X

Nuts in May

terri said...

I remember Judy Tenuto and particularly, that line. I can still here the outrageous way she voiced it and still use it myself sometimes too!

I hope the week brings you lots more calm and peace!