Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Huff and Puff, Blow, Blow, Blow

Ok, I'm gonna tell you a little story here but if you are one who may be grossed out about a certain topic, you may want to skip on by. I apologize to anyone for this but this post is gonna be about noses and well, certain by-products of that part of our anatomy.

My older daughter has a tendency to, when she calls me or her sister -well, even her brother too -that at times, she puts way more information into some stuff she tells us than is necessary. This information generally is in regards to actions between her and her fiance and well, frequently some conversations leave me, Mandy and yes, even her brother Clate, saying "TMI! TMI!" I really don't care to listen to blow by blow descriptions of other people and sex.

Ok, that's part one of what this post is sort of about.

That daughter also happens to have issues -big time -about the by products that come from noses. She absolutely hates, gags, gets very close to throwing up too at times (maybe sometimes she actually has become physically ill) whenever anyone mentions topics like boogers, snot, etc.

Yesterday, she happened to phone home -here. I answered the phone, my voice quite scratchy, even more nasal that it normally is and she picked up on that, asking me if I have a cold.

At that time, I actually figured this was more of just a sinus problem and not a true head cold. However, since then I have changed my mind because today, my eyes are watering big time, I'm blowing my nose virtually every ten seconds -or so it seems. My nose is twitching too -frequently -that feeling you get when you have a cold that you need to sneeze, blow your nose and look like you are bawling your eyes out from the sheer volume of liquid being produced there -all at the same time.

Ok, I'm getting a bit ahead of myself there though.

Back up to the phone call and conversation with daughter Number 1 now.
I explained to her that no, this was not a cold, just a sinus thing. But I also added that I have her nephew, my grandson here, sweet little Kurtis, to thank for this as he had been extremely kind, sweet and generous and passed this medical issue on to me.

Without giving a second thought at all to how she tends to react about things pertaining to the nose, I launched into the following description -for her benefit and understanding as to how Kurtis has been, how I was at that point in time too.

My words, pretty much, near as I can recall were:

Yes, Kurtis has had this issue for close to three weeks now. Runny nose, ya know. The main difference between him and me is that I actually blow my nose into a kleenex, paper towel or whatever is handy along those lines. Whereas Kurtis -well, he does occasionally cooperate and allow us to wipe his nose, but he is much more inclined to just let the snot -green slimey stuff, ya know, roll down from his nose, land on his upper lip and then sometimes he tries to "blow" -but without a kleenex present, so the end result is of course, more green yucky snot. Then he likes to take his hand, wipe a bit of that snot on his hand and proceed to smear it all over his hand, face, mouth, hair.

About midway through my above diatribe in our conversation, she started to say, "Ok, Mom. I get the picture. OKAY MOM. MOM! Enough, ENOUGH! MOM. Please. PLEASE. ENOUGH!"

When it initially started to register what she was saying -I'm a bit hard of hearing and the cold does nothing to help that, ya know -ask me what my reaction was?

Well, it was to keep on reiterating all the stuff we've been seeing here with Kurtis -laying it on really thick then.

Why? Well because once I realized that this conversation was grossing her out to the max, I figured hey, turnabout is fair play!

I doubt it will stop her from calling and giving us more information about her sex life that probably either she or her fiance even care to know, much less me, her sister, her brother -or for that matter, anyone on her friend list with a phone too -but boy, another expression also comes to mind here.

Revenge is Sweet!

Oh my, yes indeed it is!

Now, would someone please send me whatever cold products you have on hand, recommendations for what to get would be helpful too.

Right now, if I could get promotional products for say, cold medications, I would definitely buy them in bulk quantities! Cause baby, I really need 'em bad and I need 'em NOW!

Now, I think I best run to the store and stock up on Kleenex.

1 comment:

Red said...

Your gonna love this. Maybe. Rub Vicks on the soles of your feet and put white socks on before bed. IT HELPS. ALso, vicks on the nose. But for the runny, try VICKS first defense nasal spray, it will stop it quicker. We also use zinc losengers.

Good Luck.