Directionally Challenged

I'm going to warn you right now -if you don't like to read about certain body functions then you may want to back out of here right now. But remember too, a lot of my life right now involves trying to teach a certain five-year-old how to deal with said body functions in a proper manner and anyone who has had children of their own, who has grandkids now too, probably has dealt with pretty much these same issues -and words -a time or two -or forty -over time.So you're choice there -as always -to proceed or not. But if you do, don't say I didn't warn you!

Ok, these things happened here -today.

Starting the morning off with Miss Maya -and you've heard me talk more than once -okay, lots of times -about our working with her on the potty training, so this should be of no big surprise then.

Mandy had an appointment in town with the agency we deal with for the kids therapy, evaluations and such for Kurtis this a.m. so she had to get him ready and leave and it was then up to me to get Maya dressed, fed, ready to board the van and head off to school. I said something to her about getting dressed and she asked me if where she should go to get dressed. I told her she could take her clothes and go into the bathroom and dress or, if she wanted, she could also just get dressed in the living room. No big deal there, ya know.

She looked at me, kind of quizzically then said "Well, maybe you can get me dressed in the bathroom" and that set the wheels rolling in my brain that there was something on her mind as to why she was wanting to get undressed out of the pj's and dressed in the school clothes in that specific location. So I asked her the big question. "Maya, did you poop?" And, she was quite open in her response then too, telling me "Yeth, I did!" All with this sweet little smile ya know.

So back to the bathroom we went and I started to strip her. Very gingerly, I began to remove the pull-up with it's lovely and very large package in it. As I held it over the commode and she watched it drop with a plop into the water, she looked up and me and announced, "It's a boy, you know!" Hmmm, really? I had no idea that poop had a sex. And as she then watched it being flushed down the drain, she waved to it saying "Bye bye. He's going to go be with his friends now." Never thought of poop going down the tubes in that light before either. Ah yes, a five-year-old though and you learn something new at least once every day!

Then a bit later in the morning there was this phone call from the newest member of Kurt's therapy team. This lady has when here over the past 2-3 weeks or so, always asked either Many or me -or both of us -for directions to get her from our place to the home of the next client on her list. And if I thought it was difficult trying to explain how to get around some of the back roads here in person, try giving this woman directions over the telephone!

Therapist: "I think I am going to be a little late for Kurt's appointment. I don't know where I am."
ME: "Uh, I don't think you have an appointment with him this morning as Mandy has his in at the agency's office for an evaluation and also, to have his IESP done this morning. "
Therapis: "Oh, gee I thought I have him listed for 11 a.m.. Wonder how that happened. Well, maybe you can help me figure out though how to get to my next appointment. I'm totally lost here right now and gee, I have no idea where I am."
(Me thinking here -lady, if you have no clue as to where you are right now, how in blazes do you think I can help you figure out how to get from there to where your next client lives.)
ME: "Well, give me a description, if you can, of where you are right now. Any landmarks, etc."
Therapist: "Well I just passed some country store."
(Me thinking -that really tells me a whole hell of a lot)
ME: "Any thing else there about?"
Therapist: "Oh, and I just passed a couple houses. (again, that tells me so much too -a lot of directional information there huh, like north, south, east, west) Now, I just passed a carpet cleaning place."
ME: "Sounds to me like you are on Route 153. How did you get to that road to begin with?"
THerapist: "Well, I'm looking for the Kylertown-Morrisdale Highway. The staff in the office told me to take a right turn and go down this road and I was on the Allport-Morrisdale HIghway , then ROute 322 and now I'm on this road."
ME: "Well, I can't figure out which way you are going on the road you are on and I need to have that information in order to tell you how to get to the Kylertown-Morridale Highway, which by the way, is Route 53."
Therapist: "Oh, really? It is, huh? Oh, okay. Well this sign here now says I am in Bigler and there's a light and intersection and all that -oh and there's a big old gas station here too on the left."
(Now her description here is matching with what I know to be the intersection of Route 322 and Route 153 until she tells me this gas station is on her left. Judging then by other places she says she has just passed, the gas station here should be on her right side but what the heck do I know at this point in time. )
So I tell her then to pull into the gas station and turn her vehicle around and drive back down the road from which she had just come and it will then take her to an intersection with Route 53 and from there -well I give her directions to a landmark that she has seen before and is slightly familiar with. But the whole doggone time I am telling her this, I suddenly realize I am sitting in my living room and gesturing into the air, pointing at invisible stop signs, little restaurants along the way, the local school building, etc. and it dawns on me then that I don't have "Phone-o-vision" here and that she can't see my pointings and such from her end of the line.

Wonder which of us was really the most "directionally challenged" there after all, huh?

The whole event, once concluded, gave me this really big desire for something good to nibble on and I rooted around on top of the refrigerator till I found the little box and the two pieces of Creamsickle fudge that I had bought Saturday at the church bazaar. Popped them in my mouth and tasted that mellow fruity concoction as it melted in my mouth, slid over my taste buds and down my throat. MMMM good to the very last bite, ya know.

And then I realize that again, I am very directionally challenged since the last thing I need would be more calories and at the reate I'm going now, the direction I'm following here, I really am going to be in dire need pretty soon for some CLA - big time variety!