After the way my morning started, I can definitely understand why some species kill their young!
I should have recognized the signs when I woke up to the sounds of Mandy and Maya arguing but being in a partial fog, I got up and tried not to hear their fight.
Enroute from my room to the bathroom, I glanced over at Kurtis, sitting on the sofa, and when he turned his head away, muttering "NO look at me!" I thought maybe his bad humor of the morning might have been what stirred up the issues between the mother and daughter, but I discovered shortly thereafter, his mood was really good compared to his sister's!
And what exactly was the root cause of the strife between Mandy and Maya?
Why it was shoes. What else could possibly cause such difficulty in an almost 9-year-old's life?
Seems Miss Maya was having a full-fledged snit, about to erupt into one massive meltdown all because she couldn't locate one particular pair of shoes that, of course, she absolutely HAD to wear to school today all because these particular shoes fasten with velcro -not ties!
The child only has a huge box full of nothing but her shoes sitting out in the sunporch and some how or other, the Sketchers she needed, that she wanted, were not sitting on the tippy-top of that big pile of footwear. After pulling out each and every shoe from that box -all 1,500 of 'em (or so it seemed) - those particular Sketchers were not in the middle section of the box nor were they found to be at the bottom of that barrel either!
And of that massive mess of shoes, not one other pair could possibly be acceptable to her because, for openers, they all tied with laces, ya know! (And that was just for openers!)
A lot more words were exchanged between Miss Maya and me after her mother left for work and most of them didn't have exactly a friendly edge to them either. Of course, in between my searching and yelling at her to put her eyes to work and look too, and my muttering a lot of not-so-nice words under my breath and even expressing a few of them audibly too, the whimpering and whining from her came forth then and all the "poor me" things any one child could ever possibly think of were being said to the tune of the whining as well.
I tried several different tactics to get her to see, to realize, how ridiculous her arguments were and all fell on very deaf ears there.
Me: "Well, if you can't find the shoes you want, you'll have to settle and wear something different."
Maya: "I can't do that because people will laugh at me."
Me: "Tough s**t!"
Maya: "Why does Kurtis get to wear shoes with velcro and mine all tie up?"
Me: "I don't know -just the breaks of the game I guess."
Me: "What's wrong with these Sketchers? (Holding up a pair of blue, lace-up, high-top Sketchers)
Maya: "Those are blue and I can't wear them with these shorts." (Her shorts she has on today -blue!)
Me: "Maya, do you realize there are lots and lots of children across this country and in many other countries who have just one pair of nasty looking, very beat-up shoes, to wear for dress-up, school as well as for play and they wear those same shoes everywhere they go, every single day? And here you have upteen pairs to pick from and can't wear this pair or these simply because they have to be tied? This is just plain ridiculous!"
Maya: (In that really obnoxious whining voice, with traces of tears in her eyes) "No, no! I have to have those Sketchers to wear today! And I can't find them and you won't even help me look for them either!" (More of the wa-wa-wa-wails come forth at that comment.)
Me: (IN a very loud, very frustrated tone of voice and threatening then to beat her within an inch of her life too if she didn't soon stop this nonsense and make a different selection.) "I didn't HELP you look? Give me a break? What, exactly, was I doing when I went through the entire box of shoes out in the porch anyway?"
Maya: "You were taking the shoes out and putting them back in the box but you weren't looking for me!"
Me: "Oh Lord, Please save me from almost nine-year-olds who are obsessed with shoes and fashion!"
Maya: "I just don't understand why Kurtis gets to wear shoes with Velcro and I don't!"
Me: Well, if I put a pair of lace-up shoes on Kurtis will you be happy then and make a selection from the available footwear?"
Me: "Then go for it. Kurtis, take those sneakers off and put these shoes on.
(And I produce a pair of heavy oxfords, in a dark brown color that he normally would wear with most anything EXCEPT the shorts he had on.) As I held those shoes up for him to put on, Maya then informed me that he couldn't wear those shoes because those were his dress-up shoes or for church or for when he wants to look "handsome.")
At that point, with a pair of Puma sneakers on (that still needed to be tied) Maya went out and retrieved a pair of sneakers of Kurt's that were lace-up and I got them on him just in time for the van to pull up and get him out and on that conveyance.
As I got him on the van, I asked the driver if perhaps she -or someone else she knows -might be interested in a nine-year-old female, free for the taking. Actually, I was about ready to pay someone to get her off my hands this morning!
And that, my friends, accounts for at least 15 minutes, if not more, of my life, wasted in an argument about shoes, styles and colors, with a very bullheaded grandchild of mine!
She has no idea how lucky she is that I didn't get REALLY angry with her this morning.
I really could use a drink about now. Time to fix a fresh pot of coffee and chill down a bit more before I have to start cleaning the dining room and kitchen floors.
Actually, I'm rather looking forward now to doing that because I know I'll get no back talk from either floor in the process.
Oh, and Kurtis -who was actually the one being the cranky little crab this morning? He got on the van, fastened himself in, announced he had done that and all smiles, blew Gram a kiss and away he went!
Apparently watching -and hearing the drama with his sister unfold had a good affect on his demeanor.