Thursday, June 28, 2012

And When It Rains....

Remember that ad for Morton's Salt - "When it rains, it pours?" And  how many of us use that phrase to signify that there's a stream of bad luck or nasty karma seeming to be surrounding you?

I know I've said that more times than I would even dare to recollect on so many occasions when things just seemed to be going from bad to worse and right now, it has been pretty much pouring in around here.

I made mention in my last post about the man who -with his wife -had owned the local restaurant where Mandy had worked for about 5 years or so and that he had been diagnosed a week ago with cancer -mesoletheoma, they said (feel free to correct my spelling there). Well, we got the news yesterday that he had passed away Wednesday morning. To say it leaves a whole lot of people in this small town in a bit of a state of shock would definitely be an understatement if ever there was one!

The other upheavals in Mandy's life as well as in mine are still ongoing issues too. She had hoped that her friend, with whom the misunderstanding (let's call it that) involves still has not responded to any messages Mandy has tried to send her and I find that very disconcerting -especially where the grandkids are concerned because both Maya and Kurt absolutely adore this person and her entire family. So now, we're debating how to handle this situation with the kids.

When the subject that caused this distress was had honesty at the root of the issue, how can you then explain even a tiny bit of the issue to these kids without then lying to them? And, when a simple discussion about the issue between the two formerly best of friends might bring about a solution, or at least a better understanding and hopefully reinstate the friendship too but one party won't even communicate at all, do you just throw away a friendship that has been as close as a friendship could possibly be for well over 20 years into the garbage?

And the issues involving my relationships with some members of the women's group at our church center on communication -or miscommunication -and how when it breaks down, it disrupts the entire group then, how to repair that too?

Since I am the President of that group and it appears to some -probably by now to all the other members I would imagine too -that I am to blame ultimately for the confusion and breakdown in the line of communication, I have seriously been considering stepping down from that position. Apparently there are still several in the group who are still upset over another event we had in early May and now, something else has gone haywire and one lady has said she thinks she will stop being a member of the group because things are getting so confused of late. My opinion -and it is that, MY OPINION, is that this is not so much confusion but rather bad vibes because a few people didn't get what they wanted and they view it as me getting my way. However, although I wasn't in favor of what they wanted with the event back in May, I would have worked with them to try to make it a success. But it was these select individuals who then decided they would go back to our first plan (which was the ones I had supported) and I didn't overrule or override them in any way or fashion as they backed down of their own volition. (And in doing that, whoever of that group made the decision to revert back to Plan A didn't even bother to inform others in the group that they had done that! So guess who was left looking like she had taken over and changed things -me -and I didn't have a finger in the pie!)

And then some people wonder why I stay in a state of confusion much of the time!

So hopefully things for Mandy, things for me will get worked out and in a good way.

For my part, because apparently several in our women's group are of the opinion that I am the one fully to blame here, I have been giving serious consideration to resigning the office of President and would be perfectly happy and content to let someone else move up and partake of all the fun I've been having with all this power this office affords -which trust me, means there is none! If it weren't for the fact that were I to do that, it would seem to me that I would be doing something I've always disliked immensely about things like this which is that I would be regarded as not having had my way so therefore, it would be akin to a spoiled child who says "if I don't get what I want, I'll take my toys and go home." But is it really like that if I would step down or is it just my own feelings that people would think that was why I was resigning when in essence, it is to try to bring about a peaceful resolution?

Sheez, never in all my days did I ever think someday I would be facing a dilemma like this and now I guess I can understand what Richard Nixon must have gone through when he decided to resign. (Although there were no tapes involved in this issue here and no break-ins either of any important headquarters. No, nothing like that! Just me again trying to play out Rodney King's statement of "Can't we all just get along!"


Maggie May said...

Yes...... I think its true that it never rains but it pours..... quite often in life.

It is really upsetting when someone you respect & like decides to get out of a relationship with you and it has happened to me in the past. I think sometimes there's nothing you can do but give them space and the opportunity to talk about their grievances but if that doesn't work, then you have to accept it. Not easy though. Good luck with it.
Maggie X

Nuts in May

terri said...

As far as Mandy's situation, hopefully all that is needed is a little time. When things get to a boiling point, it's hard to want to talk things out, so I hope that a little time and space will heal whatever wounds were created with the issue.

The women's group, though... that just seems like a no win situation. If I were you, I'd be tempted to step down too. I find it sad that even in a church group, things can get so tense and frustrating. I know how often it happens though. It's one of the reasons we no longer attend our church. Church is supposed to be a place for peace and healing. What's the point of going if being there just puts you on edge. Although, I know your issue is just with this group and probably not so much with the church as a whole. I hope so, anyway!