Friday, March 26, 2010

A Brief Respite

There have been a lot of things going on here in my home the past couple of weeks that were sort of a culmination of sorts of other things that had been happening for the past several months to even a couple of years.

I can't disclose everything that was going on but, if you've followed my blog for quite sometime now, you may recall I had posted a number of things here pertaining to someone in the house, in the family, who was really stirring the pot, big time, and not in a very good way. Definitely not in a manner that was financially helpful to the family unit, that much is for certain.

Now, as you may recall, last week my daughter took a short vacation out to Nevada to spend a few days visiting with her Dad. She hadn't seen him in two or three years so it was something she really wanted to do and when the opportunity presented itself, she jumped at it. I don't blame her at all for wanting to see him as all children -whether younguns or older, grown kids, should have the opportunity to be able to visit with their parents as often as is possible. Agreed?

Of course, her absence meant special arrangements were made for the two little ones here. Maya spent the time her Momma was away with a couple and their three teenage children who are all very close friends of Mandy's. Maya frequently spends an overnight or a weekend with them. She loves them dearly and they adore her.

I was "left" (so to speak) with the care of little Kurtis. This isn't as much of a hassle as some folks might think it would be given the fact that both Maya and Kurtis are autistic. Now, had I been left to be in charge of both the kids, by myself, for that length of time, I quite possibly would be bald today as the two of 'em together, with no other adult around to diffuse situations that arise with them, can be pretty hairy, to say the least. But separately, there was no sibling rivalry, no jealousy cropping up and Kurt tends to stay pretty calm, relatively quiet and laid back then when by himself.

Now, while my daughter was away though that meant that I also was put in the situation of having to contend, alone, on my own, with the two other people who live here and both of them sometimes tend to wear on my nerves.

Sometimes I can shake off the stuff the do -or don't/won't do -with only a little effort on my part.

Then there are times when I absolutely am about at my wits' end with one or both of them and am about to blow a major gasket.

This past Wednesday was one of those days!

Mandy had returned home late Tuesday evening and on Wednesday, she had to return to work. Which meant not only did I have Kurt and Maya to watch but also the other two here and both of them were really totally rubbing me the wrong way.

The teenager in the group is a senior in high school and as such, expects to graduate in June. That however, is somewhat a debatable thing as her grades leave much to be desired and as of a couple weeks ago she was failing GYM -which is by the way, a required subject too. Now how someone can fail gym was a bit beyond me especially when I learned it was because she wasn't coming to class prepared with the proper clothing! To flaunt the rules of the class in that manner to me is just totally mind-boggling! I realize that she is capable of passing the physical requirements and she thinks showing up, being able to do that should be adequate enough. For some reason or other, she must want to make a federal case of this or something to see how far she can push the envelope there, ya know.

She's also been soliciting all kinds of literature too from upteen different colleges, business schools and the like and yesterday, she mentioned she was in the process of applying to some school -don't know which one, didn't ask, didn't want to raise my blood pressure any more than it already was, ya know.

I mentioned to her to proceed with caution on the applications because more often than not, colleges also require an application fee -just to submit the application for their consideration -and money is something there is never an abundance of in this house, in this family. That plus my thoughts were whirling around about her grades, which as I said are not the best -not by a long shot -and why clog up an admissions officials already stuffed to the gills inbox with an application that in all probability will be turned down too -due to the lack of decent grades.

She then informed me that because she qualifies for the free lunch program in school, the guidance counselor told her that she can apply to any school she wants and they will waive any application fees then because of that! Therefore, she was going ahead and applying to whatever school it was that had caught her eye.

This from someone who thinks college is a cake walk, who hates to read textbooks, will not do anything in that respect unless ordered to do that and then, it is given a haphazard scan job in the reading area. Apparently the high school teachers today do not require that the kids actually read anything in the textbooks that we, the taxpayers provide for the kids and that all that is needed for study purposes are the notes the kid takes in class or the study sheets the teacher may hand out. Sheesh! Somehow I rather suspect if some college does accept her, she will have a very brief time there unless reading chapter after chapter after chapter suddenly becomes high on her "to do" list. But what the hell do I know about these things anyway? That's just how it was for me in college anyway -read, read, read and then, yeah -read some more!

Then -because these run-ins with the teenage really frustrate me immensely -I was already edgy as all get out when the other resident came home from work. And his appearance then and from his opening words, I could feel my blood pressure escalating yet again.

Seems he was feeling a bit "under the weather" and that tends to make him more than a bit on the whiny side, which in turn, just irks the living daylights out of me because his complaints tend to be rather nondescript, very general, very vague and also, border on the kind of things that most people would take the attitude to just suck it up and deal with it!

And feeling as I did then, about to implode momentarily, I told him that I had to go see a friend who lives up the hill from us and I left the house -leaving him in charge!

And, I had lied about the friend I said I had to go see. I just had to leave or I might have done something really drastic if I'd stayed in the house any longer last night!

I drove around thinking initially I would stop and talk to my son and his girlfriend but that didn't work out as they weren't home. So I drove a little farther, thinking of where I might go, if there was someone else I could go see that I could let all this pent-up anger and all kinds of other emotions inside of me out and free.

And, I realized I was about a mile or two away from the home of a lady who, along with her late husband, had been part of a circle of friends my ex-husband and I had been part of many years ago so I drove by her place, saw the lights were on and knew she was at home and that's where I ended up then.

And boy, am I ever glad I did that!

From the moment I walked in and she asked what I was doing out and about and I told her I needed to talk to someone that I could talk freely with, that I could rant and bitch and cuss like a sailor or whatever, drink some coffee with and smoke cigarettes like crazy too if I wanted and she laughed, telling me I had indeed, come to the right place!

And yep, that I had!

When I left there about 2 hours later, I felt so refreshed, so ready to not pay a whit of attention to the two in the house that tend to annoy me greatly at times and I came home almost a new person, you might say.

I beat Mandy home by about maybe 5 or 10 minutes and when she came in and I told her where I'd been -and why -she gave me a great big hug and told me she was so happy I'd found an avenue to let loose, to get rejuvenated, ya know!

Then, Thursday Mandy and I had to take Kurtis to Danville, to the Geisinger Medical Center where he was scheduled to have an EEG done and then be seen by a pediatric neurologist after that. When we left, we were both edgy again because the other member of the family apparently wasn't going to go to work today. Hmmm. I'm wondering -as is Mandy -how long the employer he now has (since he had to disband his own operation as a "professional, self-employed businessman" within the past month) will contend with his inability to show up on a punctual basis and also, for five days running in each week too! His attendance doesn't hit me as one that will likely carry him very far in this job now if he keeps going like this.

But, though we were both upset by this turn of events with his not going to work, we took a bit of comfort in the fact that we were going to stop by where my older daughter lives and pick her up and she was going to go with us then to get Kurtis for his test and to see the doctor.

And that worked really well too as we had a great time together! We, all three of us, thoroughly enjoyed being with Kurtis, laughing at his antics, appreciating his sweet nature to the max. And with that, we were able then to back-burner the problems sure to be waiting us when we returned home -at least for about 5-6 hours anyway!

Although this post has some negativity in it and technically, to do a post and put it up as part of the "Only the Good Friday" posts, it doesn't fully qualify. But I'm going to do it anyway and take a bit of liberty with the "Only the Good" aspect as my escape to my old friend's house Wednesday night and the relief that gave me along with the sheer enjoyment of spending a day with both my daughters and my little sweetheart, Kurtis, was all nothing BUT good for me!

And a little bit of good can sometimes go a long, long way too, can't it?

It may not have been the vacation I talked about wanting the other day but it was as close to that in the refreshing of my body and soul as I could get right now and was just exactly what I needed!


CiCi said...

Sometimes you just take what you can get in the relaxation department, huh. I too am so glad you found yourself at your friend's house and that you were able to vent and go home feeling better.

janet copenhaver said...

Good for you Jeni for getting out and enjoying yourself! The world does keep spinning when we do good for ourselves!
I may start taking your lead on this.

Sandi McBride said...

I am so glad that you found someone to vent to...we all need someone like that in our lives. Keep up with her, she may need to return the favor one day and knowing you, you'd be the perfect one, too!
hugs to you and those marvelous babies!