Anyone who reads my blog -whether it is a friend or family member who knows me well or a fellow blogger I've come to feel I know almost as well as family or friends/neighbors, etc., knows I often put things in my blog about my grandkids, especially Maya and Kurtis.
There isn't a day that goes by that we don't have a mixture of all kinds of emotions going on here. From the tantrums of small children caused by their lack of knowledge or understanding -or remembering -rules/regs in the house to sweet things these two can do from time to time and also, to things that are sometimes downright hysterically funny as well.
The sibling rivalry problems I have to say are now in full bloom here! Not so much with Kurtis but very much present with Maya. Everything has to be judged by her by whether or not Kurtis gets the same treatment about everything imaginable as she gets -whether it be a helping of food, a treat or disciplinary actions. It is all about being identical there. Unfortunately, that is not always possible because he sure isn't going to get put in time out when he's been behaving properly, helping to pick up -or whatever -and she has not been fulfilling her end of that bargain. But she usually only sees these things as being all totally unfair to her.
And about all we can do about that right now is to try to keep as level a path as possible for both of them and wait it out until she is able to view things a bit better. I suppose by that time it will be Kurt's turn then to cast accusations of unfair treatment coming toward him then, won't it?
One thing with Maya though is that she is very, very intelligent. VERY! We don't always know how to answer her questions either because we aren't always sure exactly how well, how much she does understand about a lot of things that happen in this household.
And because of that factor, when she begins her little "20 Questions" games -which usually seem more like they are "820 Questions" as they do often seem unending -I have, for the most part, taken to answering her in a truthful manner but just trying to put some things into terminology that she can grasp.
I worried almost 4 years ago when I had to have a colostomy about how I would cope with her as trying to have something called privacy in the bathroom is pretty much an unheard of entity here -then and still is that way.
How was I going to explain to her when she would eventually see there was a difference between her anatomy and mine -in the way we used the bathroom, anyway. I ended up by simply telling her the bag and the barrier is just how Grammy has to use the bathroom because she had been sick and had to have the doctors fix her up that way.
And, as a result, both she and Kurtis have very little snoopy factors and off-the-wall comments or questions about that aspect of my life. Just acceptance that this is the norm for me and thus, for them to be exposed to this stuff too.
Now this week, when I came home from the hospital, I was sent home with a lovely little contraption that I'm sure many of you have had to encounter at some time or other in your own lives -a catheter.
And yes, eventually it did bring about some questions from Maya about why does Gram have this bag she has to carry around all over the place and what is that stuff in the bag too?
Finally, on Thursday, she asked me about the bag -getting a bit more specific in her questioning, she wanted to know "Do you pee in that bag, Gram?"
Well, yes and no! She knew what the bag held but I could see she just couldn't quite fathom how it got there. So I tried to explain it a bit and finally ended up telling her it is like the bag on Grammy's belly that takes care of the other stuff and she was okay with that explanation.
Today though -actually tonight -when she came home from spending the day with Jenn-Jenn and her family (the kid's sitter) -she asked me "Did you measure your pee today, Gram?"
Yes, she is aware that there are markings on the bag which denote how many cc's of urine is being passed and she understands from the home health nurse who comes by every couple of days to check up on me, that the nurse records the numbers from the bag when she is here, doing her check-up.
Ya know, I find that pretty doggone amazing that she can, at less than 7 years of age, understand the recordings of those stats and that the information is very important too for my doctors to have accurate readings. Now I know that she is also concerned that I am doing my own follow-up stuff about that too.
That and she continues to give me hugs around my shoulders now too -"Just until Gram's stitches all heal up so I won't make her belly hurt."
Aw, now isn't that sweet though?
(I hope this post isn't TMI for some people to read about but it is a fact of my life as well as for many others around the world and for us, it is a normal thing to have to cope with life's waste products in these ways. I apologize if you found this embarrassing or anything like that but it is what it is and that's the way it goes!)