Whizzers Anonymous

Last week, if memory serves me correctly, I mentioned some "issues" here with the granddaughter - my little Princess Maya - and her aversion to using the commode. At that time, Mandy (her mother) had promised her if she were a big girl, used the potty to actually do something in it (yes, that was part of the bargain) she could then wear her big girl "unneywears" (as she calls them -i.e. Bratz underpants) AND also, she could wear lipstick (i.e. chapstick, not really lipstick but she doesn't know or see the difference and it's better than her trying to paint her lips with a pencil or pen, isn't it?). And that within minutes, really, Miss Maya ran into the bathroom - yes, she RAN in there - and sat on the potty and actually WHIZZED! Hip, hip, hooray!
Wow! I was ecstatic as I actually thought we were finally making some headway with this potty training thing. Well, it turns out I was wrong on that count as she only did it that ONE time. Apparently her interpretation was that if you do this ONE time you can wear "unneywears" as well as lipstick.
Well, her little brother is a veritable rootin' tootin' poop machine -at least that's my opinion!
Seems like every doggone time you go near the boy, figuring on picking him up, doing a little nice snuggling and cuddling, he's got this darned tell-tale aroma that just takes all the fun out of the nice, warm, fuzzy feelings one does usually get from holding a baby.
Yeah, tonight was no different!
I was trying to wait him out - our little race towards going to sleep and went over to check on him - yeah, he was playing opossum, not really sleeping and judging by the smell, I could understand why! No one could possibly go to sleep with that odor circulating around!
But not only do we have these two kids here who seem to be quite adept at the whizzing and pooping things - in the wrong places albeit -but we have another small issue too.
Our Cat! Our sweet pretty loveable old cat, Gracie baby!
Now, we've had Gracie since the late fall of 1991 - so that's what -16 years now pretty soon. And she's always been a very nice, gentle, very conscientious and also, quite modest cat too if cats have modesty standards. Been very good she has over the years about using her litter box.
However recently, we've seen a major change in her behavior in that she has taken to whizzing on the kitchen floor, right smack dab in front of the kitchen sink, no less.
And you wanna know who almost always discovers this whiz? Why of course, good old me. And 99 percent of the time I find it AFTER I have just managed to step in it and always, yes ALWAYS, it seems to be I'm barefooted too!
The end result then usually amounts to my letting out a few choice words, the nicest of which being "GEEZ! Grace! And of course, the granddaughter with her remarkable ability to imitate words she really SHOULDN'T be picking up will then start mocking me by saying -over and over -"Oh, GEEZ, GRACE!" Lovely!
Now, we have no idea what is causing this behavior in the cat. Don't know if she maybe has a kidney or urinary tract problem or is jealous of the kitten Mandy brought home about 2-3 months back or if she is just senile and can't find her litter box some days.
Remember I said she's always generally been what I would term a "modest" cat well, the other day, the stepgranddaughter happened to be out in the kitchen and Grace appeared and proceeded to do her business in full view, in her favorite spot too in front of the sink and also, right under Miss Katie's nose too which caused Katie to nudge Grace a tad with her toe and then she said "OH GEEZ, GRACE" too. See the vocabulary there apparently is contagious.
But last night, I gotta tell you this, my son-in-law here is generally pretty quiet. About the only way you'll get him into a big, really long-winded conversation is usually gonna happen if it pertains to cars and then, more specifically, volkswagon bugs. He loves them and so does my son.
Well keeping his quiet nature in mind now, here's what happened.
I had supper ready - just keeping it warm till a few folks arrived here to eat -and was messing around in my usual place - at the computer so I wasn't paying any attention to any movement of any type in the kitchen. I went out to start dishing stuff out, setting the table, etc. and lo and behold, while I'd been in the living room playing on the computer, that damned cat had done gone and whizzed in her favorite spot -again! Since I was in a hurry to get the food on the table, etc., I just pulled off some paper towels and tossed them down on the floor over the puddle, figuring I would finish cleaning it up then after supper.
We all - with the exception of my son-in-law sat down at the table and were just starting to eat when my son-in-law came home from working on one of his several automotive repair projects and he went to the kitchen to wash his hands up before eating. In doing so, he noticed the obvious little pile of now semi-wet paper towels laying there on the floor and announced to the rest of us, "OH look! Someone dropped their piss here!"
The way he said it, so nonchalantly I guess, is maybe what really struck us all as so darned funny and we all just cracked up laughing then.
Yeah, that's pretty much become the normal scenario around the house these days - everyone, including the animals, are just full of vinegar and you guessed it, piss!
And to that I say, "Enough, already!"