Thursday, May 28, 2009

When All There IS....

I missed -probably forgot but maybe I was really busy, who knows -but anyway, I missed doing a "Only The Good" post at least the past two weeks. So this week, I'm doing my "Only the Good" post a little early, while this is on my mind and I have the time to sit and write it!

I know I'm not alone in having this problem pertaining to blogging but still, it is really frustrating when some days, nothing enters my pea brain to write about.

And then, as happened for me yesterday, after reading Terri's post about her daughter catching that 28 pound carp, suddenly I remembered that story about my son and his fishing episode with his grandfather.

Would you believe it but yesterday, as I was finishing up typing the story of the fish and all that stuff, it suddenly hit me about that event being really the ONLY time in my son's life when he got to spend some really quality time with his Grandfather!

And that, to me, is just sad though too.

Grandchildren should be able to know their grandparents -to be able to share more than one event that although in Clate's case with his Grandfather, it did provide a really excellent memory for him to carry with him the rest of his life, but still, it doesn't change my theory about how children should -if at all possible -be able to know their grandparents better than they do, all too often.

For my kids, the problem of not really having that much contact with their Dad's parents came about because of distance -since we lived here -in Pennsylvania then, as we still do -and their Dad's parents lived in the far western part of Illinois. To be honest, when my kids were little, I think my son was around his paternal grandparents maybe a total of four times -twice when Grandma and Grandpa travelled here to Pennsylvania and once when we went as a family to Illinois and then this trip that I wrote about yesterday.
For Mandy though, that "quality" family time with her paternal grandparents amounted to one visit they made here and that last visit that I made to Illinois with the kids in tow.

Since then, of course, Grandpa died and eventually their Grandmother remarried but she did come to Pennsylvania once before she remarried and once with her second husband too. So the kids know Grandma a little bit better but even so, one has to remember too that Mandy is now 33 years old so her knowledge of her paternal grandparents is still -by comparison to others her age -very limited.

Although there is one good thing that do I have to give Mandy credit here in that she is one of very few of Grandma's grandchildren who keep in contact with her!

Yep! Mandy may not have been blessed with grandparents who live next door or around the corner or even in the same state. Nor was she blessed with parents -or a parent -who could afford while she was growing up to take long weekends much less a whole week to go spend time with her Grandma but she is determined to build as much of a relationship as she possibly can, even if it is long-distance, and only amounts to exchanging letters from time to time during the year and occasional phone calls to check up on Grandma too, she has built as good a relationship as is possible, given those circumstances.

I guess too I tend to feel this way about the importance of a good relationship that kids should have wherever, whenever possible, with their grandparents because I was blessed to grow up in the same home with my maternal grandparents.

And maybe too, that explains why I am so glad that at least two of my grandchildren live here, with me, and I am blessed, once again, but this time,it is the reverse side of the coin where I reap the benefits from my grandchildren and hopefully, when I am no longer here, they will then be able to remember me and do it well then too!

Yeah, all the little quirky things I do and that they do too -all comes together to make our relationship very, very special and one I want to foster to the very best of my ability.

Living in this house that was built by my grandparents 106 years ago, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't see something here that brings my grandparents and a memory or two -or sometimes many memories -of them and it keeps me still very close to them that way.

I know, not everyone has what I consider to be the luxury of being able to be this close to their grandkids -geographically speaking for openers. And sometimes, things happen that relationships disintegrate too between parents and children and grandchildren that prevent the grandkids from having contact too with their ancestors. (Sheesh, typing that word "ancestor" just made me feel really, really old, all of a sudden!)

So, if you are a grandparent and whether you live with or near your grandchildren or are many, many miles apart, take the time to try to maintain some type of communication with those children. None of us knows how long we will be here on this planet so don't wait until it is too late and you are unable any longer to reach out to each other -grandparent to the child or even vice versa -do it! Put aside differences, if any exist, and for the sake of how important I do believe this is -to both sides here really -try to make that connection today!

And to all those of my readers who commented on my post about my son's fishing trip with Grandpa, thank you for your words and expressing yourself in a way that tells me each of you sees this and feels the same way about this issue as I do too!

Now go hug someone with a phone call, a letter or if you are within a distance to visit physically, then make plans to do that as many times as you possibly can!

Odds are in your favor that neither you nor your grandchildren will ever regret it!


Jocelyn said...

Oh, you make my heart swoon, with this tale of 106 year old houses and grandparents making an imprint.

I've been so sad these last few years that my mom morphed into a new person and isn't at all the grandma I'd expected. I keep wanting to shout at her about what she's missing.

Instead, I take heart in grandparents like you.

Maggie May said...

When my granddaughters lived in Japan, I felt a great ache, even though we had web cams and sent photos & presents, it didn't seem the same, but was better than nothing,
I was overwhelmed with joy when they decided to come back to England to live. I see them most days now and we have got really close to them. However, everything has a downside as the much loved Japanese grandparents are now in the position that we used to be in. The family are going back to Japan for a month in the summer holidays. I will miss them.
I have always seen my grand sons, who live 200 miles away, at least every two months or so and we are an important part of their lives.
Very important to stay in touch.
Good post.

RuneE said...

A contact between the generations is important. I had only one grandparent alive, but loved her dearly. Our children have luckily met and knew very well three or four of them Now there is only one left. We have no grand children yet, but who knows... :-)

Thank you for the nice comment - I have the same problem :-)

Suldog said...

I was blessed with having all four of my grandparents near enough to visit often while I was growing up. And my Grandma - my Mom's mom - is still going at 103!

I think I'll send her some flowers today.