Friday, December 19, 2008

It's All Good!

Ah, it's Friday -already -and time again for that blog event begun a few weeks ago by Miss Shelley over at This Eclectic Life -titled "Only the Good Friday." I almost forgot and bypassed this today because of the issues I mentioned in my previous blog -being really bogged down and way, way far behind in what I need to get done over the next 5-6 days now.

But last night, I fell asleep in my recliner -embroidery on my lap -and woke up around 2 a.m. -pretty well awake too I might add. I decided to check my e-mail, drink a cup of the pot of coffee I'd made around 9 last evening (and had only had one cup out of it too before falling asleep) cause I sure as heck didn't want it to get pitched because it had been sitting for so long that it turned bitter and about as thick as tar. That would totally go against my frugal upbringing, for sure. Waste not, want not, ya know.

Don't let that paragraph above fool you into thinking I am a real nut about being frugal cause I still do way too many things that would be considered by those who tried their best to instill this "frugality thing" in me, many years ago -my Mom, my Grandma. Ok, in some aspects they did a good job there on teaching that to me, but there are yes, some areas that I'm still a bit lacking in when it comes to that topic. But wasting a perfectly good pot of coffee? Well, that just isn't one of the things where they failed with me!

After checking my e-mail and glancing up at my reader and the 300 plus odd posts it was showing there, I was really feeling a bit intimidated as well as encumbered by the numbers there. How was I ever going to get caught up with my reading?

So the decision was made then not necessarily to get totally caught up right now but at least to try to whittle it down a bit. And that I did! I got it down -in about two hours -to just over 100 posts left to be read. This number though isn't really quite as large as it seems because, you see, the blogs I "Follow" also show up on my reader but when I read a blog post on my "Reader" and it clicks off the count, the same thing doesn't happen to that same blog post which also shows up on my "Blogs I'm Following" segment. So once I got the Reader posts cut down a bit, I dropped down to the Followings and just went through there, clicking on the blogs I'd already read and that then, is what really cut my count down a good bit, you see.

Of course, by late today, those numbers will be back up there -high as all get out once again and the whole process will repeat itself in how I will deal with this in a day or two -or three, maybe!

So what you may ask is the intent here with respect to the Only The Good Friday thing?

Well I'm using my older daughter's favorite phrase there. It's what she says no matter what happens in life -good, bad or indifferent -that "It's all good, Mom. It's all good."

And yes, Carrie, you are so right there. No matter what happens, it is or it can be or quite soon, it will all be good!

I may not be the healthiest person on the planet but overall, compared to how things could have been for me had I not managed to be diagnosed with the cancer when I was and received chemo, radiation, surgery, more chemo, things could be a whole lot worse! A WHOLE lot worse in that gee, I might not even be here, able to read, to type, having a blog. But I am and I do and I'm glad -mighty glad, mind you, of that!

My life may not have been a peaches and cream existence, but the events of it are what come together to make me who I am today. Regrets -sure, I have many. There are lots and lots of things that if I play "Monday morning quarterback" I can see that it might have been a lot wiser to have made this choice instead of some that I did make. But that's water under the bridge a long time ago for many of those things and its really just speculation now that had I made the other choices, things today would be oh, so much better. I don't know that, never will now and I'm plodding along with what remains of them -wise or unwise -who knows, really. And yes, I do think many of them actually were "all good" in the overall, long run, scheme of things.

I have my children -all three of them -and in my mind, they are the best kids ever! Oh yeah, that still doesn't stop me from grumping and growling at them -a lot too -or so they often think. But I hope they realize by now that regardless of how ticked off I may get at times with one or all three of them -thankfully, not usually all three at the same time -that I do love each of them unconditionally! It still holds true what I used to tell them when they were all still living here with me that I will always love each of you but that doesn't mean I will always like you every single day either. There's a big difference in that -love and like thing -ya know!

And then, there's the grandkids! Can't say enough there about how much their being in my life means to me. It's a bit of an opportunity to redo some of the things I maybe mucked up a good bit when my own kids were little, as they were growing up. And really, with them, it's so much easier too as I try to mend the errors of my old ways with their parents, or their uncle!

The oldest grandchild, My Prince Alex, is a gem -smart, loving, lovable, handsome (oh my, is he ever), considerate, and thoughtful young man he is growing into being as I see him now at age 11. He'll go far for sure as he has the commitment of both his parents to see to it that he has his needs met, and the opportunity to keep moving forward with their support even though they, his parents, are no longer together as a couple. They have both focused on joining forces to work to make sure that Alex does continue to do well, to be able to understand right from wrong, to realize the importance of education now and for his future. And Alex himself does have the knowledge and grasps that they are there for him always and forever.

The little Princess -Maya, the diva, Maya the hairdresser of herself, extraordinaire, Maya the meltdown queen at times too. Maya -my sweet, beautiful, intelligent little elf and imp! Could I have ever asked for anything better? Well, of course I could have asked but would I have received anything better? Not on your life! She's the best granddaughter -stubborn as a little mule, for sure, irritating too all so often with her adamance about refusing to do what we tell her to do. That's usually pretty much a guarantee that if she's asked or told to do something, her respnse is going to be a flat "NO!" Reverse psychology does work occasionally but more often than not, even that fails so we move on to acceptance that this is part of what makes Maya who she is today and that sometime -hopefully in the near future -this too shall pass! I wouldn't trade her for all the tea in China, that much is for certain. Life without these little quirks of hers would be nothing but dull and boring!

And finally -there's my Sweet Pea, the little Duke -Kurtis. It is such an especially exciting time with him now as I can see him coming out more and more every day, learning new words, beginning to communicate a bit with all of us. It is so cool too when I look at pictures of my son at the same age as Kurtis is now and gee, it looks like I am seeing my son's twin -that's how much Kurtis looks like his Uncle Clayton! And that, most certainly, is not a bad thing -not in the least -for him to look like Uncle Clate! Kurtis is just a joy, an absolute joy, to have him as part of my life today.

I have been blessed throughout my life too with family no longer with me physically, but in memory now. My Mom -even though much of my life with her was a bit on the rocky side many, many times, she was still my Mother, hard-working, a bit distant with respect to showing outwardly her love but in retrospect, I know it was there. She could be a bit of a pain in the behind at times, but then, who among us is innocent in that regard anyway? If she only knew how much I actually miss those daily squabbles we had -almost like clockwork! Oil and water -trying to blend together -that would be me and my Mom for the majority of the time I had with her. But hopefully, I can still pull the good things from that and also, pass them along to my kids, to my grandchildren too, day by day!

I grew up with my Mom's parents -the best grandparents one could ask for. Yes, really -they were that! Quiet -both of them were quiet, generally mild-mannered, plodding souls doing what they knew best which was work, work, work and then work some more! Grandpa taught me to read and in doing that, gave me his love for books -something for which I will be eternally grateful. He also inspired in me a love of history of my ethnicity, for music too and for fairness whenever, wherever possible. Grandma showed me through her unique ability to sew, to crochet, to quilt, the beauty in those crafts. She and Grandpa together taught me the importance of family, of love for them and of keeping in contact as much as possible too. So many things I gained from having grown up under their roof, with their day-to-day contact and touching my life in so many ways that are just impossible to define.

I was so blessed to in that I had such loving aunts and uncles -all who afforded me so much in seeing how families should be toward each other. My Mom's siblings all did whatever they could to show their appreciation, love and respect for their parents, and their willingness to help each other in any way they could too. I can only hope that what I learned from them I will somehow have been able to pass that on to my kids and now, to my grandchildren as well.

My Dad's siblings -those who I was fortunate enough to know fairly well -were I do believe the most affectionate and unafraid of showing that affection, their love, outwardly too! It was virtually impossible to be around those aunts and uncles without being stopped by them and kisses or hugs requested and freely given back too. That wasn't something very much done by my Mom's side of the family but it was an aspect I realized as I became an adult and then a parent that I loved very much about them and I have tried my best to instill that in my kids and yes, in the grandkids too. It's also something that I can see that I did succeed with that practice there too as my kids when talking to each other or to me on the phone or in person, do not end a conversation without saying "I love you!" When they visit, they don't leave without at least a quick kiss, usually a hug and a kiss though. The grandchildren too have learned that lesson well and are quick to share hugs and kisses -with or without reminders too! I know this does not mean my Mom's family loved me any less than did my Dad's -but just that they were not that open, that outward in showing their affection but rather did it in other ways, kind of behind the scenes type of thing. Nothing wrong, exactly, with that but I guess I am geared a bit more like my Dad's family there, that's all that means.

I may bitch and moan about this old house -the things it lacks, the things it needs, the things I want in it but under it all, I do love this old barn of a place! It's not a house -it's home! My home, my Mom's home, my Grandparents home -and I hear their voices in it, see their faces as well as those of my aunts, uncles, cousins, old family friends too it in every single day. And I think it is those memories, embedded in the core of this house that makes it a thing of beauty to me. Sometimes a really messy thing -quite different in that respect than it was when I grew up here -but still, it is beautiful through and through to me for all it holds within the wood, stone, cement and walls!

So many friends -way too numerous to go into detail there -who have entered my life and some who have already played their role in the drama and comedy too that is my life and exited. Neighbors who were surrogate parents to me as a child have played a huge role in my life over the years. Friends from early childhood to the present too -whether still with me in that role or now gone -the memories are there and will remain, most certainly, for the rest of my life -something for which I am now and will always be oh so grateful!

I was raised in the Lutheran faith and still am part of that community. Maybe not always the best parishioner but I do try to remember the things I was taught at home as well as in the church and do try to let those teachings guide my way. I may not always succeed on a daily basis but still and all, yes it is a very good thing.

Having the good fortune of ancestors who left their native lands -Scotland and Sweden -well over 100 years ago now to come to this country -this beautiful land, to find a life with more opportunity for themselves, for their families -to be able to live in the freedoms afforded by our government, our society here -is truly a blessing beyond belief. Doesn't stop me from griping now and then -or even often -about things I see that I'd love to see changed here but then, that's all part of the great thing called the American way of life too isn't it? Where else can one be that free to do that anyway? And yes, I realize every country has their own places of extra special beauty but it's pretty darned hard to consider the vast expanse of this nation of ours and NOT think we have to have the most beautiful places in the world most of the time anyway, is it? Not only am I blessed but so are each and every one of us who lives here, who utilizes this land and its tenets to enjoy life as we know it here. It truly is the land of so much opportunity!

And to sum it all up -it is then, just as my daughter says then, isn't it?

It's all good!

Better believe it is! Always, ever and oh so good, this life!

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