Wednesday, February 06, 2008

The Idiot Blogger

Remind me, please, never, ever again try to experiment with my blog! Take a hammer and pound that into my head, please, please, please!

Why do I state that at the very beginning of this post? Because, when it comes to blogging, to the html factors, etc., yours truly is truly a blithering idiot and should not be trusted in any way, shape or form to play around with components of a blog that can do serious damage to said blog.

Doing that can also cause severe shock to said blogger's system too - as in a panic-type feeling, cardiac arrest may be following along in the wake here too, if I am allowed to monkey around, using my own devices to play with the inner workings of my blog.

What happened here was this. I registered today -finally - for this IZEA thing so that, supposedly, I would then be given access to my "real page rank" through their system as opposed to being ranked by the lovely, all powerful google machine. You know that one - the one that busted me down from the HUGE rank I had pre-December of a "three" to having no rank now -a big fat zero, zip, zilch, nada, nothing! Talk about a blow to the bl-ego - is that what Mimi would call a blogger's ego maybe? I dunno for sure there but I'm assuming maybe that's what it would be.

Ok, so we all know I have been a nobody, a "nothing blogger" for the past two months now, thanks to Google's form of showing love to bloggers. And the upshot of this is I can't get posting opportunities with some of the paid post places I signed up with because of that "no rank" ranking you see. So this lovely IZEA group has come along and said they have their own "real page rank" now that one can get hooked into. And it's all so easy - just like falling off a log, you know.

Well, if you all remember correctly a couple months back I proved how easy it is for me to fall out of my computer desk chair and I darned near did that to myself this afternoon when I tried to figure out how to install this "real page rank" via the lovely, simple instructions provided by IZEA. In the process, I scared the living be-jesus out of myself too because I thought I lost my blog!

Don't ever tell me to insert ANYTHING into the html code of my blog unless you also give me precise instructions EXACTLY where in the code I am to place said things. Don't tell me things like make sure there is "x" amount of space so there is room for "x" number of pixels. Don't leave any junk like that to chance with me because it is a given, a solid guarantee that I am then going to putsy around, meddle where my nose should never roam and run the risk of totally screwing up what I have spent the last 17, almost 18 months getting to look like it looks today - my blog! Whether you like its appearance or hate it, think it interesting or not, I have worked long and hard to get it to this point and when I messed around with it today and blipped out virtually all my sidebar, favorites, awards, pictures there - well, I admit I was totally on the verge of going into complete and utter cardiac arrest!

So, as much as I would love to be able to follow IZEA's "easy to follow" (NOT to me) instructions as to how to go about adding that little badge showing my real page rank through them, I'm not taking any further chances of messing around with my blog until I have a live person who is knowledgeable about these things sitting beside me, leading me through that process step-by-slow-painful-step! In lieu of no one being able to surface here in person, I will also accept instructions from any blogger knowledgeable in this area on one condition. The instructions have to be PLAINLY written! When I say plainly, let me stress, I do indeed mean VERY PLAINLY -you can even go the extreme by starting with "turn on your computer" then "now, click on firefox", then do this, do that, do something else, yadda, yadda.

Not to say I am really, really stupid exactly but ok, yes, when it comes to this stuff I am, REALLY REALLY REALLY DUMB, DUMB, DUMB!

Ok, my shattered nerves are starting to quiet down a bit, and because a certain 16-year-old is whining here (I should offer her some cheese, maybe?) about when I am going to cook supper and what will it be, etc., and I think now I can possibly handle something that involves frying, boiling, nuking things, I will head in the direction anyway of the kitchen and try to figure out a meal game plan for us for this evening! Considering other factors - like a need for a certain party to NOT eat, or at least, not eat as much -maybe I should tell her to get herself a bowl of cereal?

And that's the end of my endeavor to install "real Page Rank" to my blog - at least for today!


Mahala said...

I killed my very first blog. I was tinkering with something simple like putting a picture in a post (this was back when you did it all manually) and somehow copied the wrong code from Flickr and totally killed the whole thing.

It was traumatic.

Hang in there :)

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

i just about gave up on ppp but i did start doing payu2blog on my dotcom blog. they are so easy and the rules are so much more lenient but you don't make as much money either. good luck!

smiles, bee

Smalltown RN said...

Jeni....I feel your pain....girl I am terrible at this...the whole html thing...insert here..insert there...dear god....if I wanted to be a computer programmer maybe I would have taken some all I want is to be able to make things fit into my side bar....change my header....but I am REALLY REALLY Dumb when it comes to this....I don't think you have the market on it....I love your blog...and I have watched how you have transitioned with it...and all the angst and pain you have endured...but you have done it girl....I on the other hand have not managed to accomplish that....I get to easily frustrated and would be so pissed if I wiped it all out....oh yes I have saved my blog to my hard drive. blah blah ...but when I try and make changes rarely works...and hence I give my friend have perservered...and I commend you....if I had an award for that I would give it to give yourself a big pat on the back.....

Cheers to you!!!

SnoopMurph said...

Yes, I know how you feel and on my first blog, I was afraid to actually add anything because I didn't get how to do it without messing up.

When I finally got up the nerve to start playing around with features, my son added his "touch" and I ended up with a completely new blog look.

fermicat said...

Sorry that things have been so difficult with this. One thing I've learned is to copy your template to a backup file before you start tinkering with it. That way you can always get back to where you were. I want to make some changes to my template but haven't found the time.

I don't pay any attention to my blog's rankings, but I am not trying to make any money with it either. My dozen regulars are enough for me.

If that company doesn't make it easy to install their stuff, then shame on them. Don't let it get your down.

terri said...

Ok, first off, I have a problem with you proclaiming yourself as having been a "nobody, a nothing blogger...." And I know you were talking about your page rank, so I get it. BUT... page rank, or no page rank, I love your blog as do many others and consider you a true blogging buddy. So no more of this "nobody, nothing" stuff, ok?

Secondly, I feel your pain! You know the struggles I've had with getting hacked, and then being incapable of installing updates because somebody else has that portion of control of my blog. I know the panic that takes over when you think you've lost all those thoughts and words and all the comments and love left by others. It is an awful feeling. I'm so glad that you were able to get things put back together!

Vic, the Cariboo Ponderer said...

I didn't see any help message in my mail box today, did I miss it.

Apart from that I think our woes with getting paid for blogging all started with IZEA or PPP. I have a new ranking on the new blog of 4 and I would lose it again if I did PPP as Google will slap me down for it.

Since the other advertising companies judge your blog by Google Page Rank it seems we can't win. I don't know how to get around it.

janeywan said...

You underestimate you abilities. Fear is what's holding you back, however you blog is beautiful just the way you have it.

I haven't a clue about my page rank etc. I blog for me and the fun of it.

I personally don't give a hoot about the popularity of my blog. I've met some cool people because of it, you included.

I can relate to the heart pounding experiences but that was only because I had't backed up like I should. It's all just stuff.

Dottie said...

My apologies, but after reading your story here I didn't feel quite as bad for not knowing about the google reader. I've not heard of IZEA or google page rank or any of that. I'm sure my page rank isn't much considering I've only recently begun die hard blogging. I've never done a pay per post either; although on the advice of another blogger have looked into Smorty.

Mimi Lenox said...

The whole google rank thing is tricky. And messing with html on a blog can give you a heart attack if things go wrong. I feel your pain!

Have you tried the Big Bang World Record tag? Go to my blog and join in. Maybe it will help your ranking. Email if you need help.

Have a great weekend!

Saedel said...

Hi Jeni,

I haven't logged in to PPP for the past two days, so I didn't know that IZEA (formerly PayPerPost) asks its members to install a code to determine RealRank. They should create a service where members will simple enter their blog and the said system will compute for the Rank.

My site has Google PageRank (PR) of 3, and I *might* lose it if I continue doing paid posts. But I'm trying to game the system by doing it discreetly (sshhh don't tell 'em). Only adventurous readers will be able to find my paid reviews. :P