The Idiot Blogger

Remind me, please, never, ever again try to experiment with my blog! Take a hammer and pound that into my head, please, please, please!

Why do I state that at the very beginning of this post? Because, when it comes to blogging, to the html factors, etc., yours truly is truly a blithering idiot and should not be trusted in any way, shape or form to play around with components of a blog that can do serious damage to said blog.

Doing that can also cause severe shock to said blogger's system too - as in a panic-type feeling, cardiac arrest may be following along in the wake here too, if I am allowed to monkey around, using my own devices to play with the inner workings of my blog.

What happened here was this. I registered today -finally - for this IZEA thing so that, supposedly, I would then be given access to my "real page rank" through their system as opposed to being ranked by the lovely, all powerful google machine. You know that one - the one that busted me down from the HUGE rank I had pre-December of a "three" to having no rank now -a big fat zero, zip, zilch, nada, nothing! Talk about a blow to the bl-ego - is that what Mimi would call a blogger's ego maybe? I dunno for sure there but I'm assuming maybe that's what it would be.

Ok, so we all know I have been a nobody, a "nothing blogger" for the past two months now, thanks to Google's form of showing love to bloggers. And the upshot of this is I can't get posting opportunities with some of the paid post places I signed up with because of that "no rank" ranking you see. So this lovely IZEA group has come along and said they have their own "real page rank" now that one can get hooked into. And it's all so easy - just like falling off a log, you know.

Well, if you all remember correctly a couple months back I proved how easy it is for me to fall out of my computer desk chair and I darned near did that to myself this afternoon when I tried to figure out how to install this "real page rank" via the lovely, simple instructions provided by IZEA. In the process, I scared the living be-jesus out of myself too because I thought I lost my blog!

Don't ever tell me to insert ANYTHING into the html code of my blog unless you also give me precise instructions EXACTLY where in the code I am to place said things. Don't tell me things like make sure there is "x" amount of space so there is room for "x" number of pixels. Don't leave any junk like that to chance with me because it is a given, a solid guarantee that I am then going to putsy around, meddle where my nose should never roam and run the risk of totally screwing up what I have spent the last 17, almost 18 months getting to look like it looks today - my blog! Whether you like its appearance or hate it, think it interesting or not, I have worked long and hard to get it to this point and when I messed around with it today and blipped out virtually all my sidebar, favorites, awards, pictures there - well, I admit I was totally on the verge of going into complete and utter cardiac arrest!

So, as much as I would love to be able to follow IZEA's "easy to follow" (NOT to me) instructions as to how to go about adding that little badge showing my real page rank through them, I'm not taking any further chances of messing around with my blog until I have a live person who is knowledgeable about these things sitting beside me, leading me through that process step-by-slow-painful-step! In lieu of no one being able to surface here in person, I will also accept instructions from any blogger knowledgeable in this area on one condition. The instructions have to be PLAINLY written! When I say plainly, let me stress, I do indeed mean VERY PLAINLY -you can even go the extreme by starting with "turn on your computer" then "now, click on firefox", then do this, do that, do something else, yadda, yadda.

Not to say I am really, really stupid exactly but ok, yes, when it comes to this stuff I am, REALLY REALLY REALLY DUMB, DUMB, DUMB!

Ok, my shattered nerves are starting to quiet down a bit, and because a certain 16-year-old is whining here (I should offer her some cheese, maybe?) about when I am going to cook supper and what will it be, etc., and I think now I can possibly handle something that involves frying, boiling, nuking things, I will head in the direction anyway of the kitchen and try to figure out a meal game plan for us for this evening! Considering other factors - like a need for a certain party to NOT eat, or at least, not eat as much -maybe I should tell her to get herself a bowl of cereal?

And that's the end of my endeavor to install "real Page Rank" to my blog - at least for today!