PLEASE, Say It Isn't So!????

Yesterday was a really crazy, very mixed up, get very little accomplished day for me.

For openers, I'm struggling with filling out forms to get an organization affiliated with our church to, hopefully, back us with extra funds for the Cure Autism Now Organization's walk/race fund raiser here in State College next Saturday. I've e-mailed I think every friend and relative, even casual acquaintance I can think of whose address is somehow magically listed in my e-mail address book. My kids- each one has been trying to "talk up" the walk, donations, etc., for our team. We're not doing poorly with it but because this event really means so much to me, because the cause hits home directly with my little princess, Miss Maya, I want it to be that our team has a good showing.

Now, I know we can't begin to compete against the fraternity and sorority teams that are involved in this event, but still I think we can do well but can also always do better. And, every little bit we gather up helps is my belief here.

I know we are very fortunate with Miss Maya as she is picking up so much, just amazes us some days to see how far she has come. Then, out of the blue, things turn on a dime with her and she will suddenly go into an absolute meltdown that may last a matter of mere minutes or in some instances, may go on and on and ON till you want, as daughter Mandy says, that advertisement of years back to be available right now for you - "Calgon, take me away!" It is at times extremely frustrating to try to cope with some of her actions, moods, you name it.

But I still wouldn't trade her for the world! And I'm sure anyone reading this -whether you have an autistic child, or one who is facing a life-threatening illness, or so, so many other challenges life often bestows on the littlest ones that seems so unfair to them, to parents/grandparents, family, friends alike at times, you know what I mean there, don't you now?

But that is just one item on my "challenging" list yesterday.

The other just so happens to be my 45th high school class reunion - coming up now shortly on June 2nd. I know, I've mentioned this before but yesterday, something came up that really threw me for a big loop.

I'm not the one planning this event - my friend, neighbor, former classmate, former class president too she was, is in charge of that. I'm just here to help here once in a blue moon with piddling little things - like trying to see if I can locate maybe a long-lost classmate, or communicate with some class members I keep in contact with fairly regularly who live far, far away from here. And this year, I'm supposed to be coming up with some little bit of entertainment, of sorts. No, I'm not a stand-up comic - far from it! But, I'm just trying to figure out some little thing we can do that will serve to entertain the troops and keep us still wanting to come back together in, hopefully, another five years.

So yesterday, I got an e-mail from Kate - the coordinator of this event. In it, she told me which classmates had responded that they will definitely BE THERE and right now, it appears we have 16 classmates coming and 8 are bringing a guest. That's good - gives us a total head count now of 24 and possibly 25 if Nancy, out in Colorado comes home and convinces her husband to come with her, it will then give us the 25 needed for our reservation so we won't have to pay extra for a room fee. Yippy!

Then I read further in Kate's note as to a couple kids who responded that they WON'T be coming this year and that is something that is always disappointing to see who can't come.

But this year, one name stood out as someone not planning to attend and when I read that name, I said out loud, talking to the computer screen of course, OH NO, This can't be! This is a real BUMMER! Please, say it isn't so!!! Joe's gotta come cause it just won't be right within our class reunion world without him there!

Shortly after reading Kate's note, I was composing a response to her when my daughter (the birthday girl) called and I told her this piece of news. To my surprise, really, she said "OH my Mom, that's terrible! He has to go or you'll have no fun at all without him there!" Wow, even my kid knows him, and knows how much I enjoy being around both him and his wife. I almost always sit at the same table with him and two other guys from our class and their spouses. Not that I don't associate with the rest of my classmates but those three guys, their wives - well, I just am totally at ease around them.

My daughter told me then too "Mom, you have to call him. If you call and talk to him, I betcha you can talk him into coming after all. You know, you HAVE to do that!" And I thought and thought about that idea and finally decided ok, I'd take a chance and do just that.

I made the call -his wife answered. We exchanged opening pleasantries, not having talked to the other for quite a long time although they only live maybe 5 miles or so from my home.

I asked her if it was true that he wasn't going to attend - that they weren't coming and she said yes, he had decided he wasn't going to go.

Now, I have my own theory as to why Joe had made this decision. You see for our 30th and 35th reunions, he had graciously invited our class to their home - a beautiful area out in the country here, not anything grand, pretentious, just a pretty home, fixed up very nicely, with lots and lots of open space around, plenty of room to park, and also, to party!

A businessman in the community, Joe had also opened up our reunion to invite kids from classes three years above our and three years below ours plus he had included kids who had attended with us but for one reason or another, hadn't finished school with us. His theory - and I happen to concur with him on this - they were all still our "classmates." Then too, he invited the people who worked for him in his construction company, and from the bar he owned at that time too. Keep in mind, many of his employees had attended school with us too, so it wasn't that they were unknown entities exactly. All this made for a bigger event than we would have had if we only invited those who actually graduated and their spouse or guest. Because of the way he did this, he was also of course, able to use it as a tax write-off too but the base cost to his classmates was minimal compared to what others were shelling out to go to their particular class reunions at the time. He also had a DJ present, several kegs of beer and an open bar too - no "cash and carry" stuff with the drinks - it all came with the price of our acceptance to attend - $10 a head! His wife's niece and a friend had begun a catering venture at the time and they catered these reunions - one being an ox roast, the other a pig roast - and the food was excellent! No complaints at all from the peanut gallery on that.

For my part, I loved it too because it was casual - meaning I didn't have to go on a search and destroy mission for some special dressy outfit that I would only ever wear most likely that one time and which, because I have expanded more than my mind over the years since graduation, regardless of what dress style I found, it would still make me look and feel like was was an over-stuffed sausage! Now, jeans, or even slightly dressier slacks and a loose top -hey, I figured it would hide a few of the multitude of caloric sins I had obviously committed over those years between high school and the reunions.

Well, at our 35th reunion, some of the girls were kind of grumping that they would prefer our next reunion to be one held at some nice, relatively upscale restaurant - a place where they could visit, be wined and dine, then even dance to a band of some type too. Some were even kind of quietly growling too about there being so many people at these gatherings who weren't even part of "OUR CLASS!" Well, that part didn't bother me in the least cause I looked at it as a chance to see lots of other kids I wouldn't have a chance to see and talk to any other way. Actually, I loved that aspect of those reunions too!

But anyway, a vote was taken and the ones in favor of a change of place, of participants, etc., won out.

Now I'm not saying I know my old classmate Joe like a book or anything like that but I KNEW how much he had put his heart and soul into these two events and how much he wanted to provide the best time possible for his classmates -along with yes, a lot of other friends too. And hearing him speak up there about changing the place, etc., I could see by the look on his face the disappointment there that he was actually struggling very hard to hide. But I knew then and have seen it in his eyes when we've talked on occasion since then, the hurt, that he felt he'd been slapped in the face for all his hard work, his efforts, his caring for his class. But he's also one very macho individual so if you were to talk to him about this, he would respond in his gruffest voice and try to put on the mask that heck, this didn't bother him at all. And, especially those who maybe only saw him once every fifth year at our reunions, they would believe he meant that too.

Talking with his wife, she pretty much verified my thoughts were on target there. And, because of things that happened at our last reunion, it solidified his feelings into not wanting to be a part of this scene.

Now, his wife is going to talk to him, tell him I called and that I want him to return my call. If/when he does that, I plan to open with the fact even my daughter knows that it's JOE who really makes our reunions flow, come together. As soon as you hear him laugh - and he does like a good laugh and a long one - and his laugh booms and echos and makes you want to laugh too whether you know what he's found humorous or not - it's the contagion there that he brings. It relaxes everyone around him to see him flash that big smile, that laugh then gives you a nice comfortable feeling that somehow, all is in its place and right within this little corner of the world for that short period of time.

So, that's where I am now - waiting, hoping he will return my call. Hoping I can tell him what my daughter said, how I feel about him not being there and if I have to, yes I will probably beg him too!

Please Joe - Say it isn't so! Come on Buddy, you've got to go! You HAVE to be there! He's a big, big part of the cement that keeps us glued tightly together and wanting to return to see others from our class. To feel his big strong hand clasped on your shoulder and saying "HEY! How're you doing?" And know, that he really does care about everyone who shows up for these things.

Now, say a few extra prayers that somehow I can cajole him into changing his mind about this whole process. If need be, I'll try to call in some reserves too who might be able to talk to him and get him to change his mind too.

Wish us all luck there, please now, will ya?

Come on Joe - You've GOTTA GO!

Counting Down

Ok - I'm getting the Bushism for Friday, March 16th out of the way first thing.
"[I'm] occasionally reading. I want you to know, in the second term. - Washington, D.C.; March 16, 2005

Yes, I am glad I got that posted - over and done with - because this particular Bushism, like so many others, is one that I have no earthly clue whatsoever as to what he was talking about there! 'Nuff said on that one!

I don't remember if I mentioned anything previously about this but my high school graduating class is have a class reunion this summer - our 45th, as a matter off fact. And I'll be there too with bells on because I totally enjoy these events!

Sometimes, it doesn't seem at all possible that it has been that many years since I left the "hallowed halls of Cooper High" but judging by the way the joints in my legs like to stiffen up on me, ache, sometimes even swell, you'd swear I've been on my feet constantly for all of those years so I guess it really is true that. Yep, 45 years!

At our last reunion, my friend, classmate, neighbor (and president of our graduating class) had asked me if at the opening of our 40th reunion would I kind of make some remarks, try to put everyone at ease, get them into the spirit of the reunion,etc. Serve as kind of an "emcee" you could say.

And I did that. But actually, all I did was pass the buck around the room. I started with the classmate at the first seat on the table to my immediate left and tossed out the ball, asking each person from our class to think back over the years and share some things he or she remembered best about our school days. And, I went completely around the room from one classmate to the next to the next.

Some of the group are still as quiet, shy and reticent as they were back in school - others are still just as gregarious - so there were a lot of good memories brought up by getting each one to participate at whatever level that person felt comfortable in sharing. And it was often really funny too listening to others mention things many of us had forgotten from 40 plus years before.

And this year, when my neighbor/friend/former classmate and former class president called me to say she had made an inquiry at a restaurant over in Clearfield about holding our reunion there and had several dates when the place would be available, we pretty much decided for everyone else then to go with the date of June 2nd for our reunion.

And Kate asked me if I would mind doing again at this reunion something like I'd done at the last one. And sure, no problem, I'd said.

And really, it is no problem except that I'm thinking since I used that format of going around the table at the last reunion, should I stick with it and do that again? Or maybe, go to each one present and ask for an update of what this or that person has done, achieved, etc., in these past five years since our last get-together?

I was thinking of maybe trying to get as many of my classmates as possible to help out and putting together some photo collages of as many of us as possible. My idea here would be to scrounge around and get old,old photos taken either when we were really small or in grade or high school and see who can identify this, that or another classmate from way back when. And then, also have another collage type thing of photos of us taken anytime between graduation until now. Finally, a third collage where folks who have children and grandchildren could share those glimpses into their lives too.

Kind of a this is our past, this is us up to the present and with the children/grandchildren display too, that would represent our future. We do still have a future you know, even though the bulk of our lives is now in our past! Or at least, that's how I see it - my grandchildren are my future as well as holding the potential of the future for themselves and society in the palm of their tiny hands.

I don't know if this idea is way too cumbersome, time consuming, difficult to pull off or not. I've mentioned the idea to a few of my classmates and no one has out and out said they hated the idea. Although a few did comment that it might be biting off more than I can chew. And that very well may be true too. I'm still mulling the whole idea over in my mind though to see if there is any potential to do something like that.

So I'll put the question on the table here to any of you - my readers - for suggestions as to something interesting I can do or say to provide a little bit of a light air to our gathering. Feel free to speak up, tell me what you did at your class reunions or things you heard of that others have done at theirs. I'd welcome any little bits of input anyone wants to provide here!

And, because I know I am going to probably be pretty busy for most of Saturday, don't know yet about Sunday though, I'm going to go ahead and get the Bushism for those two days posted at the end of this piece too!

"I'm also mindful that man should never try to put words in God's mouth. I mean, we should never ascribe natural disasters or anything else, to God. We are in no way, shape, or form should a human being play God." - Appearing on ABC's 20/20, Washington, D.C.; January 14, 2005.

Food for Thought

It's funny how things pop in (and out too) of my mind from time to time.

Take tonight, for example.

This afternoon, I had to take Kate (the 15-year-old stepgranddaughter) to the doctor as she's been complaining, since Tuesday, about her stomach hurting and making a lot of noise. The doctor said she had some kind of viral gastric infection that should finish passing through her system by Monday and nothing drastic to worry about.

But, this morning, I was kind of in a not so great mood because I really just didn't want to leave the house! Now anyone who has known me for a long, long time would know that isn't me- not the old me anyway. Because for a long time, I was ready, willing and able to hop in the car and take off at pretty much the drop of a hat. Short hops, long trips - made no difference as I was generally up to that task very quickly. But now, I don't want to be bothered to shower, do my hair, find some outfit that looks semi-presentable (i.e. doesn't make me look like a stuffed sausage in a fat old steak/sausage type bun) and I'd much rather stay here, in the house, doing whatever on the computer or reading or knitting or some other "homebody" type thing. (Except for cleaning or washing dishes, that is.) LOL

Once out though, although it was really, really windy which does absolutely nothing for my hairdo du jour and trust me, I am not one who looks even semi-presentable with the "wind-blown" effect, I was really content to do a little shopping, albeit it only at Walmart and then a quick stop at the local grocery store to return a dvd Mandy had rented the other day.

After supper, I crashed on the couch and when I woke up around 9:30 or so and checked my e-mail, there was a really neat little forward my cousin - the Red Head - had sent me about the need for "Friends" and girl friends, in particular. And reading that, it did remind me then and there -especially since she had added a few things to point out to me how our relationship has come full circle over the past couple of years - thanks to the internet!

When we were kids, living about 8 miles apart, we usually saw each other at least one or two Sundays out of the month as Mom would frequently stop at my Dad's family homestead and we would visit then with Red's parents and my younger aunt there - they all lived together at that time in the homestead.

But, as we got older - jr/sr high, etc. - Red and I drifted apart. Some of that had to do with the fact my Mom - for whatever reason - seemed to withdraw from my Dad's family. Not totally, but we didn't go there nor did we go to visit any of her friends as we used to do when I was younger either. In retrospect, I think my Mom's issues may have been a combination of menopausal junk and depression and she never really came out of the latter and back to her old self.

I always, in the past, had taken a lot of pride in the knowledge that I felt I had a great number of good friends - some closer than others - but all really good friends. For about 18 years, I sold Avon in this area and got to know a lot more people through that route - one being a friend I acquired when my son was just a baby as was her son and that friendship seemed to be one that was going to be a long-standing one. But over the past maybe ten years now or so, it has dwindled to where if I see her at the grocery store or maybe at a little local restaurant, that is the extent now of our contact. We used to meet for lunch or get together at her house or mine to gab for hours over coffee and talk about our kids, work, craft projects, etc. And now, it is like we have nothing in common anymore. My daughter suggested a month or two ago that maybe I should call her and try to get that relationship back on track again and I refused to do that. I don't know why exactly, but I just can't handle listening to the litany again of how WONDERFUL her life is, her kids are, her grandchildren, her job - yadda yadda. It puts me into a nasty funk type mood and I just feel I am better off without dealing with those feelings again. Sometimes I think it is just a jealousy thing that creeps into me there and I shouldn't feel that way but yet - I can't bring myself to open up there again.

Right now though, I agreed to help my neighbor in any way I can to help get things set up for our 45th class reunion and that, now that I am looking forward to doing! I am looking forward first off to seeing some of my old classmates once again as I ALWAYS really enjoy our class reunions!!! Over the years, since graduation, the kids in our class seem to have jelled, come together as one, in a way. Even though in high school I was far from being a social butterfly or life of the party person - I never dated at all then - but each time our class has a reunion, those old things are forgotten as we all really seem to be very, very happy to be back together again. People who 45-50 years ago barely spoke to each other now hug and kiss each other and the aura that exudes around the group is such that I really wish it could stay there day after day after day!

There are a few of my old classmates that I keep in touch with directly via e-mail and some, indirectly but also via e-mail as some of my old classmates have siblings that I communicate with frequently and in that way, keep a little up-to-date on what a few classmates are doing these days. It's something that I am really grateful that I got a computer 8 years ago and also, that I got as addicted as I am to e-mailing and stuff like that too!

When I think about how I started to become more reclusive though, I really think it began back in 2003 after I learned I had cancer. Although the first couple of months after the diagnosis, I was out and about as much as I had been before - the early chemo treatments and radiation didn't really slow me down. It was after the surgery and the problems with my back and legs and I just got more and more accustomed to staying in and not really wanting to leave the house and it's just kind of grown from there I suppose.

Now, if someone or something happens that gives me an excuse to get out, go someplace, get together with folks - other than shopping or doctor's appointments - especially if a certain high school friend e-mails me that she is coming home from Colorado for a week or so, I come out of the woodwork and try to contact as many from our class as I can to meet while she is home for lunch. And, often, that may be the only time during the year I call those folks but I really enjoy pulling a little impromptu meeting like that together.

The same goes for my family reunion which is held the last weekend of July every year and I really get the adrenaline pumped up for that - making plans to cook enough to feed a couple small armies, getting things ready for the auction we have to cover our expenses, the park set up, notices sent out to family members scattered all over the country now and praying that this will be the year our attendance will perk up a little bit as it's been falling off a lot over the past 2-3 years. I actually tend to get more psyched up over the family reunion than I do a lot of the time about Christmas. Sometimes I think that is because as a child, Christmas meant lots and lots of extended family being around here and now, the only time I see the extended family is usually at our reunion - unless there happens to be a death in the family and then, well I'd rather not have that happen as a reason for us to get together ya know.

My neighbor and classmate who lives down the street from me - still - we've been neighbors for roughly 50 years now - has asked me though to do again this year for our class reunion like I did at our last one, which means I will be sort of the "emcee" you could say I guess. Ok, Kate - I hope I can do a decent job of that for you. And, if anyone reading this posting was a member of the West Branch Area High School, Cooper Center, Class of 1962 - just mark your calendar right now to plan to attend our 45th Class Reunion on June 2, 2007 at "Hedges Restaurant" in Clearfield, PA! I don't have the time yet or the data on meal costs but Kate feels it will run most likely around $13-14 per person, which is pretty darned reasonable!

And, if any of my classmates is reading this and has any suggestions - memory things they would like to share, greetings to relay to other classmates if they can't be there at the Reunion - anything whatsoever, please feel free to click into the e-mail thing on my profile page and write and let me know what's on your mind about our reunion, about life in general, about your current status, children and grandchildren, etc., and yes - about all of us still being friends after all these many years too!

One of my blogger friends, Barb at Skittles Place, commented today too about friends and friendship - maybe it's a topic on the minds of many today (apparently) - and it also triggered me to post this piece about family and friends and such. It made me realize how much I DO value the friendships I've maintained over the years since childhood or from when I worked in Washington, or lived in this place or that, as well as how family and friends all become very intermingled too.

It also made me think about the friends I've been making too since starting this blog experience and how nice it is to read what others say in their blog and to also read the comments they leave behind after visiting my little place in cyberspace too. Some will scoff at those people actually being friends but I would beg to differ there as often they come forward and point out things to me that perhaps family and long-time friends might not see or pick up on. Anyway you cut it, to me, they comprise my family of relatives and friends now and I'm really glad I have every last one of those people in my life!

Without family -close, extended - and friends - also close ones and those we don't see frequently but who are still in that fold and those we communicate with on other levels (like blogs and e-mails) - what else is there then?

Nite all - my friends!