Yesterday, I blogged about the funeral for a dear lady who had always been a very good friend to me. I said I try to use her as a role model for my own life.
And, I do. I try.
Don't always succeed very well in that quest though, I must confess.
Although I'm quite sure there probably were many times, many things, in Betty's life that angered her greatly or hurt her a heck of a lot too, but somehow, she always seemed to rise above things like that.
And it's that aspect about her that I'm struggling with right now.
My daughter informed me the other day that some things are going to be changing here in this old household -in the very near future -and I know that those things -when they happen -are going to make my trying to deal with life, with other people, people who tend to really bring out the worst side possible in me - very, very difficult.
I'll not go into details right now as to those changes that are coming. I've dealt with it before and so, here it is once again, on my plate. I'm not happy, not in the least about this but at the same time, circumstances being what they are, I also know there aren't any alternatives but to allow this individual back into our lives, into my life.
So I am trying to work on ways -to find ways I should say, I suppose -to at least tone the anger I feel down as much as possible.
I find it very difficult to deal with this person because no matter what I say, what I do, the response I will get back is one of indifference and a reaction to my words to the effect that I don't know diddly squat about that which I speak.
Uh huh. Go ahead and tell me that.
I'm not a genius -that much is for certain -but I do have a certain modicum of intelligence. I also have many years of experience in life -way more than this person has -and I do know from that alone a heck of a lot then.
But in order to keep some even small bit of peace, I'm really gonna have to be biting my tongue.
Look for me to be talking with a very severe lisp in the near future -all caused by the big hole(s) I'm gonna be sporting in my tongue to try to be civil!
And if you have any suggestions as to how to tone one's anger down to a very dull roar, keep resentments from flushing through my system -please, feel free to pass them along to me as I'm definitely gonna need all the help I can get!