Sunday, December 05, 2010

Spinning Wheels

Good news, bad news, sorrows in the family yet again. Where to begin?

First, the good news I guess and that would be that with the 4th chemo treatment I had this past Tuesday, my oncologist made the decision that I don't have to have the last two treatments that had been scheduled! Now that news is the kind of stuff I don't mind getting nor do I mind telling everyone and anyone about that too!

The bad news though came this morning when the daughter of my cousin who passed away quite suddenly almost four weeks ago now phoned me to tell me that her Dad died too -this morning. What a blow for this young lady and her two brothers to now lose their Dad so closely after their Mom's death. It's one of those things where you really don't know what to say, what to offer to help and what does the family need right now -other than prayers and more prayers, really? He had been in very poor health for several years so it didn't come as a huge shock but still, and all, it is a shock after all, isn't it?

My son is going through a very rough time right now -unemployed and because of a screw-up last year when he lost his job with the unemployment office, now he can't even sign up for benefits. Somehow, that doesn't seem fair to me to punish him when it was a mistake on the part of his past employer on the paperwork but that's how that cookie crumbled ya know. He's not happy with me right now because we had words this evening about this whole situation and I think he should make arrangements to go back to work for the gas company he had been working for most recently although to do that would mean he would have to leave home and go to North Dakota and spend the winter months working up there in the great outdoors!

I told him I don't really want him to go there but my reasons for not wanting him to do that are selfish as I want him to be here, to be near his sisters and me. However, if that is the only job available to him that would pay him a reasonably decent wage, then perhaps it would be best if he'd "suck it up" and go there! ]

He seems to think I don't understand about taking a job, just to have a job and not really being happy with the work, etc. Boy, is he ever wrong on that count!

I tried to explain to him that the bulk of my working life was spent in employment that barely paid enough to get by on and then, working a second job on top of that most of the time too. He forgets that after I finished college, I couldn't even get an interview much less hired for a job in the field I had studied and as a result, I ended up taking the only full-time job I could get then -working as assistant manager at a truck stop restaurant in the same position I had held prior to my going to college and I hated that job, that place with an absolute purple passion. But sometimes, you do what you have to do to survive, whether you like it or not.

Sometimes, over the years since I graduated and took that job (again) I thought working there made about as much sense to me as it would for me to go to Florida for a Fort Lauderdale car rental while living here in Pennsylvania. Go figure, huh?

I'm hoping something comes along and very soon too so that maybe my son will get a job here or fairly close to home, but if it doesn't, then he -along with his sisters and me too -will just have to "suck it up" and head to the great outdoors, freezing temperatures and blizzards of the prairie land of North Dakota.

Life happens to all of us and often brings consequences along with it too that none of want to deal with but you do what you have to do, regardless, don't you?


Sandee said...

I'm very happy you don't have to have the last two chemo treatments. That's great news indeed. Congratulations.

I'm so sorry about the daughter of your cousin losing her dad so soon after their mom. What a heart breaker.

As for your son and his unemployment. You are right, a job is a job and if he has one that pays decent wages then he should go for it. I hope he figures this out soon.

Have a terrific day. :)

Berni said...

So glad about the chemo tests. Hope you recover from them quickly apparently they are quite hard on the body.

Like you I had a job I loathed but had to do it as only one available to me as I was the main support for the family. Also worked a second and third job at the time. Thank God that part of my life is over but you have to do what you have to do.

terri said...

So glad to hear that you're through with the chemo treatments and can now try to get back to normal.

And I'm very sorry to hear about your cousin's husband. What a blow to their children to lose both parents so close together. So sad.

I hope that Clate finds employment close to home and soon. The winters in North Dakota can be so cold!

wendyytb said...

Hi jenn

Glad to hear that you are finished Chemo... Onward and upward!!

Maggie May said...

Good news about the chemo.
So sorry about your cousin's husband. Life can be grim.
I guess it is all ups and downs but you go ahead with the ups.
Maggie X

Nuts in May

Maggie May said...

PS..... I am really sorry about your son's job situation and hope some satisfactory solution comes up soon. I understand how you feel about him moving away.
Maggie X

Nuts in May

Linda said...

Sadly, the Christmas season seems to be one of the worst when it comes to losing friends and family members. I like to think of it as folks heading up to heaven for the big celebration they're having up there but it's still a tough thing to deal with. My Aunt Joy just passed away this past Thursday and even though she hadn't been well, it's still a loss in the family just like your cousin's daughter is feeling - though hers is two-fold having just lost her mother not that long ago.

Definitely good news on having your chemo sessions cut down! I guess that counts as an early Christmas present, right?

Good luck to your son in finding a job. There are SO many people looking for jobs these days and it just seems to get worse and worse. So much for economic recovery!

... Paige said...

that's too bad about he UI

and I so understand about the lack of jobs, although the unemployment rate has dropped (due to Holiday hiring, which will go back up in a few short weeks)

I hope he can get a job that he wants without being a drang on other peoples pocketbook

Suldog said...

First, big big BIG congratulations on the GREAT news concerning your chemo.

Sad about the dad. That's the way it often is, though. When one in a marriage passes on, the other sometimes follows closely. While the death certificate may say otherwise, the cause is often a broken heart...

Monte said...

Hi Jenn,

Hope this finds you doing well. It has been far to long since I have posted anything much less caught up on my fellow bloggers posts!!

Congratulations on the reprieve from your last two chemo treatments! I remember all too well my Dad's struggles with his chemo treatments and I look forward to the day that they give you a clean bill of health!!!

I hope for all of your sakes that your son is able to find a job without having to leave home. However, like you said sometimes we have to just Guppy Up and do what we have to in order to make the proverbial ends meet. I myself have been working away from home for the past year and a half and was looking at going to North Dakota and Eastern Montana (as have so many others in our area) to work in the oilfields. Being away from home and family definitely sucks but so to would not having a home to go to!

Wishing you all the best this holiday season.