Today was, by all standards, a beautiful day - at least if you base those standards on warm weather, loads of sunshine, things like that.
But today was one of those days with a deep-seated feeling in me that I couldn't shake and have no clue as to what exactly brought it on either. Inside, I just wasn't feeling all "sunny and bright."
I thought maybe it was a subconscious thing inside me where I was feeling a lot of the regrets of life -remembering the things I did wrong. All those shoulda, coulda, woulda things we all have, don't we - or am I alone on this one?
Maybe I was just not feeling up to par for other reasons that are working on me and I don't know what they are - some medical issues about to launch and set me back a notch? Who knows.
But by the time I got around to reading the posts on some of my favorite blog reading list, it seems that I wasn't the only one having a "bad day."
Blogger Claire was feeling a bit on the punk and tired side after slaving and struggling away to finish up work for her college courses this past semester and not having an easy time of it either. She's also just trying to bounce back from having had a nasty ear infection a couple of weeks ago that played into putting her behind in her course work, along with just generally kind of slapping her upside the head a bit too. Not exactly that it's the old "misery loves company" thing here, but reading her post and then, clicking into the comments there for her for today, well that did tend to bring a smile or two up within me. The words of wisdom may have been intended for Claire, but I found a lot of comfort in their content as well.
And then there's the good old Meloncutter who wasn't his normal zany self today either because he was worrying about some recent episodes in the life of his teenage son. I have no words of wisdom to share with him other than to tell him I can relate to the anxiety he's experiencing having been down that road with all three of my kids a time or two in their teenage years and occasionally getting a return trip down that highway too when -now and again - one of my kids manages to pull some stunt - usually my son - that sets my teeth on edge or just generally gets my nerves all roiled up.
Why is it though when you aren't having exactly a stellar day to start with, it seems other things throughout the day happen that just seem to upset you, drag you down a bit more then too?
Besides just not feeling up to par - not sick, just off-center I guess -today, Miss Maya decided to let fly and see how many things she could do to keep things on a downward spiral here.
The first thing she did that should have been an omen of more to come was get into the new container of kitty litter her mother had bought and brought into the house today. The mistake was that her Mama set the container down on the dining room floor thinking it was a safe area and would't -or shouldn't be a problem. WRONG! Miss Maya managed to take the cap off the container and proceeded then to pour kitty litter directly on to the dining room floor! Lovely! NOT! I don't know why this child has taken up this love of kitty litter in the past 7-10 days now but she has. THe only "good" thing about this stunt today - compared to those she pulled off on me last week - was this at least was fresh kitty litter, not of the "already been used" type which last week had held her fascination. Ok, so her Dad and I had a fun time trying to sweep up all this kitty litter today.
Then a little while after that, Maya decided to play with the cat's water dish and dumped most of it on the kitchen floor. Enter the mop here to that area as I tried to soak up as much of the water as possible with the sponge mop then.
While I was cooking supper -and this, she did right under my eyes, within five feet of where I was standing no less, Maya came out and picked up the cat's food dish and promptly picked it up and dumped the contents of the dry cat food on to the kitchen floor. OK, child, this time Grammy took her by the hand, led her to the cat food, sat her down on the floor and told her to pick up the cat's food and put it all back into the dish. And, she did that. Ok, not a perfect job but she did try to pick all the cat food up and did manage to get most of it back into the dish. But then, she grabbed the bag of cat food and proceeded to pour some of that on to the floor and started the mess process all over again. This time, her big sister, Kate, swept up the cat food for me because I was trying to feed the baby at that time.
Later in the evening, Maya decided the in thing to do would be to take the little can of the Nestle's strawberry milk flavoring stuff and it would be ever so nice, ever so pretty to dump that powder on to the kitchen floor too! ARRGH!
About the time 9 p.m rolled around and my favorite weekly program - "The Office" -was coming on, I cranked the volume up on the tv because in order to catch the dialogue on that show, I seem to have to always turn the volume way, way up. Well, it comes from another factor there actually too - that being for some reason, probably because I have to listen really closely to what is being said, watch just as closely too what's happening on that show, but it seems every Thursday night, regardless of what time NBC broadcasts "The Office" - the little grandson here, good old Kurtis, decides that it is time then for him to stand up in his playpen and exercise his vocal chords then! Not crying, not fussing - just making tons and tons of loud -VERY LOUD - noises! Can you say ARRGH with me again?
Then, when Mandy got home from work and said something to me about the evening, I made the mistake of just saying to her "Don't even ask how things went today" and she got all bent and uptight over that. So much so that she said to me later that she really wished she would be able to come home from work one night and not listen to me say something to the effect of "Don't even ask." Now she thinks maybe she should make other child care arrangements -which would negate then the reason for her taking any job right now anyway - that being to try to get ahead a bit, financially. Geez, Louise!
It isn't that watching the kids is too much for me to take care of because most of the time it isn't near that much of a disaster zone. It's just that somedays, when it is, it's usually because I am having a "disaster zone" in my mind that seems to trigger these things - or at least makes them seem to feel worse than they probably really are.
But today, with Mandy's response, the problems I read that Claire and also the Meloncutter are experiencing, the way I was feeling today, I'm thinking maybe there was something floating about the airwaves today that was causing all this tension, these issues, problems, etc.
Either that or there's a full moon!
How about your day today? Was it nice and smooth or full of bumps and spilled water, kitty litter, milk flavoring powder and a variety of other things?
Looking towards tomorrow now and maybe it will be a better day for one and all, here's the Bushism then for Friday, June 15, 2007
"Anyway, I'm so thankful, and so gracious --I'm gracious that my brother Jeb is concerned about the hemisphere as well." -- Miami, Florida; June 4, 2001
And, while I'm at it -here's the Bushism then for the weekend too. May as well get a jump on these things you know.
Saturday/Sunday - June 16/17, 2007
"It's in our country's interests to find those who would do harm to us and get them out of harm's way." - Washington, D.C.; April 28, 2005
Gee - maybe I should have read the Bushism for tomorrow and the weekend when I first got up this morning, huh? Might have put me on a better plane than other things did!