tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34398479.post8518973733265079769..comments2023-10-28T03:38:02.333-04:00Comments on Down RIver Drivel: Let's talk! Ambivelence for openers, ok?Jenihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16425701332785470116noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34398479.post-47773948975184063332007-12-28T00:45:00.000-05:002007-12-28T00:45:00.000-05:00My father left us when I was 10. That was 1975. ...My father left us when I was 10. That was 1975. He paid $300 a month for his two kids. The day I turned 18, he never sent another dime. He did the same on my sister's 18th birthday. That was the extent of his legal obligation.<BR/><BR/>He never saw me play football. Although he had the money, he wouldn't pay for knee surgery when I had both knees destroyed. Every time I reached out, he turned away.<BR/><BR/>I can recite all of the excuses.<BR/><BR/>I have no relationship with my father, nor do I want one.<BR/><BR/>My mother never said a word against my father, until I said the first "f*** that a$$h***". Then she told me the stories from her perspective.<BR/><BR/>I asked him for his version of events and he wouldn't say. I haven't spoken to him in 12 years.<BR/><BR/>There's much more, but it isn't required to write. I understand your post.Travis Codyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06192526507760146748noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34398479.post-38097341738298386452007-12-26T22:30:00.000-05:002007-12-26T22:30:00.000-05:00I absolutely believe in prayer, but also believe t...I absolutely believe in prayer, but also believe that sometimes our prayers SHOULD go unanswered because we don't always know what's best. Have you ever looked back on something and thanked God that you DIDN'T get what you wanted? I have many times!<BR/><BR/>I, too, raised my kids with an absent father and I'm pretty sure that I would be pretty peeved if they were to get a phone call like that even all these years later. Don't feel bad about your not so nice feelings. You deserve for him to NOT be in your head these days!Paulahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17016439610436864684noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34398479.post-54795435746719529522007-12-26T20:55:00.000-05:002007-12-26T20:55:00.000-05:00Prayer! Yes I believe in it. I also agree with you...Prayer! Yes I believe in it. I also agree with you that He answers in His own time, and sometimes it is not always the answer we were waiting for.<BR/><BR/>Wow! I enjoyed your venting. Get it ALL out. You can be angry. That is allowed. But your ex did do a good thing, although it was not for his own kids or grandkids. I also respect his 13 years of sobriety. You know that you can never change him. Just be glad that you are a positive influence on your kids and grandkids and they know that you have sacrificed a lot to raise them. For that you should be proud. <BR/><BR/>Keep pushin on!Keithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08751608263311019166noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34398479.post-29201040936042976852007-12-26T18:31:00.000-05:002007-12-26T18:31:00.000-05:00I know, I know oh yes I understand. Mine would stu...I know, I know oh yes I understand. Mine would stuff an envelope into his young teenage sons hands with up to $500 in it, with instructions to go buy yourself something nice. Don't give your mother any. <BR/><BR/>No I was responsible for the boring things like a roof over their heads, food and clothes, discipline and daily love. He was super hero but he did not realize the boys despised him for it. It is hard to explain to young teenage boys though that morally they should help me out with the basics of life even if their father would not. Fortunately they were honorable young men and contributed some of it to the family needs.<BR/><BR/><A HREF="http://caribooponderer.com" REL="nofollow">Cariboo Ponderer</A>Bernihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02393286338757929488noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34398479.post-21377040196427539112007-12-26T17:59:00.000-05:002007-12-26T17:59:00.000-05:00My thought? Perhaps because it's a one time shot ...My thought? Perhaps because it's a one time shot for him. He did good and he gets to tell his kids about it. It's probably a lot harder to do good for them after all of these years. He's, however skewed, looking for acceptance, forgiveness, fill in your words of choice.Davehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04411527807049220749noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34398479.post-58351977852345507262007-12-26T07:17:00.000-05:002007-12-26T07:17:00.000-05:00Oh Jeni, I hope you can manage to have a lovely ho...Oh Jeni, I hope you can manage to have a lovely holiday season despite the family drama :)Michelle | Bleeding Espressohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13578703393987896737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34398479.post-78845125429042405782007-12-26T02:01:00.000-05:002007-12-26T02:01:00.000-05:00You know, my father, when I was young (age 7 or 8)...You know, my father, when I was young (age 7 or 8) (at that time still married to my mom, but not living with us, off having affairs and living with another married woman-nice!) would call and say he was coming to pick me up the next day after school and to be ready. Instead of going to my grandmother's after school, I would wait at home by myself for him to show. I would make sure I was dressed extra nice, hair was neatly combed and I would wait. (he hated any disheveled appearance)He rarely showed up. Sometimes he would come a week or two later, never call, never apologize. I didn't have his phone number. This happened probably every time. Sometimes I would go months without a call or visit. And when he did, it felt like an obligation, not because he really wanted to spend time. One time, he picked me up, drove me to his girlfriend's house, left me in the car for almost two hours while he was inside eating dinner, hanging out and basically forgot me in the car. I had never been to this house and I was so meek that I just sat there, waiting and waiting. And you just wonder how someone can do that and what you have done to make people forget you.<BR/>I never understood it as a young child and I don't today, but I remember being hopeful every single time. On Christmas Day, when I was younger, he would literally come in for about 10 minutes, sit with me, bring some huge, expensive present and leave as soon as he could get out. It was horrible and you feel like you are worth nothing. I spent most of my Christmases crying in my mom's lap and she had no way to explain his behavior. I spent much of my life trying to do anything at all to have him pay attention and notice me. He rarely does, even to this day. He has only seen my older son twice and my youngest once. He has never visited me in AZ in the six years here. He told me when my son was born that he was finally getting the boy he always wanted. I laugh about it but honestly, that about sums it up. I was never really what he wanted. <BR/><BR/>So, after a very difficult path, I finally came to the conclusion after my children were born, that I cannot change him. He is who he is but I don't have to bend over backwards for him anymore. He never did it for me. I finally let go of trying to make him happy and became a happier person. I've tried to connect with him. I write favorably about him because he does actually read the blog and tries to keep up with the kids in that way at least. As a teenager, I would not have been able to do that. I understand the stepgranddaughter situation. You would wait forever, because you hope that they will love you enough this time to remember you when they said they will. <BR/><BR/>WOW-sorry, I unleashed a ton on you! Yikes! <BR/><BR/>Honestly, I don't forget a thing my father did or does. I remember those things as things I never want to repeat in my own life. My hugs goes out to the stepgranddaughter because I can identify with all of the emotions and things she probably didn't say or show.Linda Murphyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16801313102525232162noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34398479.post-23639256228992978572007-12-25T22:49:00.000-05:002007-12-25T22:49:00.000-05:00you are correct that prayer is not answered in our...you are correct that prayer is not answered in our time, but his. my prayer for my son is that i turn him over to god and hope for the best.<BR/><BR/>hugs, beeEmpress Bee (of the high sea)https://www.blogger.com/profile/08300140506585000934noreply@blogger.com